At Loose Ends
by bluebluerose
Summary: Edward left Bella years ago. Unbeknownst to him, she was pregnant. Seventeen years later Bella and her son Anthony live in Forks under watch since the Volturi see a potential recruit in Anthony. Bella has suddenly started to dream about Edward, but has no explanation for it other than that her life just seems to be messier than usual! How will it all come together?
1. Dreams, Dogs, and Old Loves

_Hey! My first fan-fic, I don't own anything Twilight. Some characters are not from Twilight though, like Dr. Ross :) _

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The room was white and dull. It had taken Bella several visits to get used to this surrounding. Nowadays she just made sure she did not wear white, which was no problem. White really wasn't Bella's color as she was so pale already, and blending in with the walls was not a good idea. Afterall dr Ross needed to be able to see her. Not that Bella had a very vivid range of facial expression during these sessions anyway. It was Dr. Ross who delivered the facial expressions: the occasional rising of the left eyebrow to show that she was paying attention despite looking devastatingly bored.  
"I've had dreams" Bella said thoughtfully.  
"The same ones as before?" Dr Ross guessed.  
Bella gave it some thought with a small smile on her lips. This used to be a common topic at the therapist's office, but up until recently Bella hadn't dreamt much. Her smile faded as she thought about her dreams.  
"Nightmares" she finally said.  
Ross nodded and asked Bella to explain further, which she did.  
"I dream about an ex-boyfriend every night. Someone I dated a very long time ago in High school", here she paused and leaned forward towards as if she was about to share a secret: "I'm _very_ old" Bella said seriously.  
It was meant as a joke, but Dr. Ross didn't even blink.  
Bella sighed. It was an impossible mission to make her therapist smile.  
"What are the dreams like?" Ross asked.  
"At first they were lovely, but now they're all unplesant. More often, they are downright scary. Sometimes all I see is his face with this grim expression I don't recognize. It is not like I remember him and I have no idea why I suddenly dream about him."  
Ross cleared her throat and corrected her glasses as doctors in movies often seem to do when they want to stress their importance. Ross was in her fifties: brown (obviously dyed) shoulder-length hair and two green peering eyes. She constantly wore a frown and liked to clear her throat, _a lot_.  
"Is he "_the one that got away_"?" She asked.  
Bella laughed softly.

"Are you implying that I dream about my first love because another one of my relationships has just gone down the drain, and I'm in my thirties afraid that I'm going to die alone?"

Dr. Ross shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm not implying anything, but it would be natural to feel that way."

_Because it's a possibilty?_ Bella wondered to herself, not liking the thought very much. For a few seconds she regretted ever dumping James just two weeks earlier, until she came to her senses and remembered why she had dumped him in the first place. Because he had brought up the fact that he wanted to be a father someday. Bella had known then that their relationship couldn't evolve much more since she didn't share his dream. Then of course, it turned out that James viewed their relationship far more seriously than Bella did, and things went downhill and got very awkard from that point on.

Bella sighed and shrugged her shoulders. The only change in her life she could come to think of was that she and Jacob, that is another ex-boyfriend but now best friend, were not really as close as they used to be.  
"I guess it's because Jake is slipping away and I cling onto old memories of _everyone_ these days" she said, admitting that she was often feeling nostalgic.  
Ross looked through her notes as if she'd written this down.  
"This is the first time you've mentioned Jacob in eight weeks" she stated.  
Bella shrugged her shoulders again.  
"Maybe I'm accepting that we have our own lives?" Bella guessed. "I don't know how he is though. He wouldn't tell me if there was something wrong. Jacob is kind of open. However, some things he doesn't talk about. I wouldn't know if we had unfinished business" Bella said.  
Ross nodded to show that she was listening.  
"That is the Black's family way" Bella said ironically. "His father was…"  
Ross interrupted Bella with a pen in the air. Her eyes were bigger than Bella was used to seeing them.  
"_Black_?" Ross chimed in, her voice high pitched and nervous.  
Bella looked confused.  
"Yes,_ Black_. Jacob _Black_. You know, first name and sur-name…" Bella said.  
Ross looked as if she was feeling sick. Bella laughed.  
"Don't like it? I always thought Jacob was an okay name but I guess…"  
Ross shook her head quickly and looked up from her note-pad.  
"The name is fine. I think I…" she paused. "I think I know his sister."  
Bella felt confused now. Ross was acting weird.  
"The same high school? But the age difference…" she began, but was quickly interrupted by Ross who waved with her hand as if telling Bella to continue.  
"Now, let's go back to the subject" she ordered.  
Bella left therapy feeling quite confused. Maybe Ross wasn't that professional after all. To be fair, therapy wasn't professional - it wasn't giving that much. However Bella liked chatting away once a week. It made her feel important, even if someone was getting paid to listen.  
When she biked off to work her mind was not on the road. As she often did, Bella felt watched. She was so used to it by now she never stopped in her tracks to take a look around anymore. Also, lately Bella had been so consumed by her thoughts she wouldn't think the thought. Bella, being so up in her own head, therefore didn't notice the something that sprung in front of her bike. Too late she hit the brake and fell off her bike immediately. It was strangely not dramatic when she hit her head and it all went black.

Bella had peculiar dreams. She had never been a very vivid dreamer, but the last few weeks she'd dreamt things, seen things, she hadn't seen in years – not even in her own head. Bella dreamt of her old high school love – the father of her child and the love of her life. Truth was, she hadn't thought much about him until the dreams had started a few weeks ago.  
She was just in the middle of a dream – a dream where he had told her he'd been there the whole time! He'd never left her! They were laughing about that when a door opening woke her up.  
When the doctor came in, Bella felt confused. She was expecting her first love to enter and not this man.  
"You hit your head pretty badly" he said.  
When he said it, Bella felt it. It _hurt_.  
"Concussion?" She guessed wincing.  
He nodded.  
"A small one. You know, Bella" he stopped and smiled slightly. "_Miss Swan_" he corrected himself and Bella rolled her eyes at his formality. "This seems to be a reoccurring…"  
Bella interrupted him with laughter.  
"Oh no. See my son, likes to point out the fact that I'm clumsy, but this time,_ doctor_ I swear, this one wasn't my fault. Something was in the way and I…"  
"Should wear a helmet" he filled in raising one eyebrow.  
Bella smiled shrewdly and the doctor chuckled.  
"Sam, _doctor, _please don't tell Jacob. He and Anthony both seem to enjoy this" Bella told him.  
Sam seemed to think about it and then his dark eyes met Bella's. He looked… worried?  
"If I ever saw my brother these days, I'd tell him."  
She knew what was coming. Sam was Jacob's big brother. The two of them had always been close, but nowadays Jacob didn't confide as much in his older brother that he used to when he was younger, which often lead to Sam worrying.  
"Do you know what he's up to? It's not like him to never be seen."  
Bella shrugged her shoulders and sighed.  
"I honestly don't know, but he's happy right?" she guessed.  
Now it was Sam's time to shrug his shoulders.  
"Who knows? He's secretive, even with his happiness" he sighed.  
He was about to say something else when someone bolted into the room with a speed Bella knew to be her son. Right, she was. A boy aged seventeen entered the room. His hair was bronze-colored and out of control. His eyes bright green. His skin pale.  
"Mom" he said worriedly. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Bella nodded, and he smiled slightly.

"You almost killed an innocent puppy."

Bella nearly jumped right out of her bed. She loved puppies!  
"Where is it? Is it alive?" She gasped.  
Anthony didn't answer right away.  
"Anthony!" Bella nearly yelled.  
He smiled wider.  
"The puppy's fine, just a little shocked I suppose, but who wouldn't be? It was close."  
"However" Sam chimed in. "It appears to be a stray dog. They will either put him down or if you know someone who'd like to take him home…"  
Bella took a deep breath out of relief.  
"Me" she said decisively.  
"You?" Sam frowned.  
She nodded eagerly.  
"I will take him home."  
"You will have to talk to the veterinary first though. I tried talking him into it, but he seemed doubtful" Antony said.  
In two seconds Bella had jumped out of bed, forgetting all about her headache and ran down the hallway, right into the vet's office that was practically next door. The veterinary was no other than Jack Newton – her neighbor and a very eager pupil who wanted to know all there was about flowers – an area that Bella so happened to be an expert in.  
"If you don't give me that dog, I swear I will never help you with your garden ever again. Say goodbye to those purple freesias because I certainly don't see them making a return next spring" she threatened. She took a deep breath, ready to continue her rant. "How sad" she began dramatically,  
"Because they fitted so perfectly with those beautiful pink roses that you absolutely adore, that are, by the way, probably not going to last another winter, seeing as to how you're refusing to give me the dog..."  
Jack Newton was beginning to sweat. He was scared by the thought of Bella not helping him with his garden, because he loved his garden. Ever since he'd gotten Bella as a neighbor his garden had never looked better. It was wonderful! It was not only that, but Jack Newton had a soft spot for Bella too and couldn't stand the thought of her being cross with him.  
"Miss Swan,_ Bella_, the freesias… "he began, but was quickly interrupted by Bella's threatening finger in the air.  
"Don't! She said harshly. "Consider them dead!"  
Jack Newton swallowed hard.  
"No, they will be fine. See, the dog is yours" he said nervously.  
Bella immediately lit up in a smile.  
"You're golden Jack! Still up for that cup of tea tomorrow? I'll teach you how to treat those tulips!" she said happily.  
Jack looked relieved.  
"You bet, see you then."

Bella was shown to the room where the puppy was. She welcomed any opportunity that would distract her from thinking too much or dwelling in the past. A puppy was that kind of opportunity. The puppy was small. He couldn't be that old. He was pitch black and looked quite nervous. She petted him somewhat awkwardly. Bella had never owned a pet, but she liked the feeling of his soft fur under her fingers. And he had the most adoring eyes: they were dark and she could see he did not feel safe at all. He was being honest. She liked that.

"Since we're being honest" Bella said, clearing her throat. "I'm done with men"she declared aloud, who looked even more nervous now. She then smiled shrewdly. "Well not completely. You will be my only man huh?" Was it just Bella or did the puppy look relieved at this? "What should we name you…" she pondered.  
She thought about it and almost laughed out loud at the idiocy of her thought.  
"We should honor the men in my life, so why not name you after the one who ruined it all?"

Bella laughed again. She must be crazy naming a dog after him."It's perfect" she smiled.


	2. What Bella named the dog

_These first few chapters are mostly about introduction and letting you guys get to know my version of Bella, and the other characters. _

* * *

Bella stayed with the puppy for a while sitting on the floor getting to know him, which she did by petting him and telling him about herself. Bella wasn't stupid; she knew the dog didn't understand, but she also knew the dog wasn't stupid, although he probably thought Bella was, talking as much as she did in a language he didn't know. She realized she'd stayed there for quite some time when Anthony's head perked inside the door.  
"Oh, he got a bandage" he said relieved.  
Bella nodded and looked at the bandage which took up most of the puppy's left leg.  
"He'll have to take it easy for a while" she said, remembering what the vet had told her right after she'd entered the room.

"Hey aren't you supposed to be at school right now?" Bella remembered.

Her son being with her at the hospital would count as a valid excuse to leave from school, if it didn't happen so often that is. Bella was on a first name basis with the most of the hospital's staff; she practically considered them family too. Yes, Bella was _clumsy_. It had gone so far that the doctors and nurses would begin to worry if they hadn't seen Bella in two weeks, when most would consider that a good sign.

Her son smiled widely.

"I got out of it" he answered, looking quite pleased with himself.

Bella sighed inwardly. Her son had a way of talking his way out of anything. The poor receptionist at Forks High school didn't stand a chance as Anthony delivered his heartbreaker smile and explained why he had to go home early. Why on Earth Anthony hadn't succeeded in persuading Jack Newton to give Bella the puppy, she had no idea: because his cunning skills always seemed to work.

Bella suddenly felt annoyed.

"I wish I could complain about something!" she complained about that fact, ironically. "Like parents do about their unruly teens, but you not being at school today won't even have a consequence considering you're ahead of your year and have been ever since you started school" she said, not qutie being able to withhold the pride from her voice as she looked at her son.

Anthony smiled and went closer to the puppy, extending one hand to show his friendly approach, but it didn't help as the little puppy growled the best he could.

"As I thought" Anthony sighed.

To Bella's joy it seemed apparent who was going to be the dog's favorite. Maybe it was unfair considering it really wasn't Anthony's fault that few animals seemed to take a liking to him, but nevertheless it pleased Bella now.

"Let's see if he likes _me_" Bella said cheerfully and got up to her feet, Anthony resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his mother's childish behaviour.

She went a few feet away, all the while Anthony watching her amusedly. Then she clapped her knees excitedly as she urged the dog on. "Come on, doggie."

Nothing.

"Come here doggie!" she tried again.  
The dog looked up at her with big wide eyes looking quite desperate, as if he understood her message but couldn't do anything about it.  
"It's not working" Bella said disappointedly.  
"Well, he did break his leg" Antony suggested carefully.  
Bella facepalmed herself.  
"Darn it!" She called out. "Edward, I'm so sorry" she told the little dog softly who seemed to accept her apology with a curious look.  
"_Edward_?" Antony repeated confused, not sure if he had heard quite right although his hearing was impeccable.  
Bella nodded as she cuddled the little puppy carefully in her arms while looking at his face adoringly.  
"So, his name is _Edward_" Antony repeated once more, disbelief clouding his face.

"Uhuh" Bella confirmed once more, all her focus on the dog called Edward.

_Was his mother going crazy? _he thought briefly, but dismissed the thought. She already was a bit crazy.  
"I'm not going to ask why" he finally decided.


	3. Under watch

Bella did a quick scan of the flowers she had in her store. Ten years ago she started her own flowershop which was convenient on days like this. It was Friday. Friday meant going to Charlie's grave and putting some fresh flowers there. It was tradition and had been so ever since he'd died nine months ago. What kind of flowers would she put there today?  
Charlie hadn't known much about flowers and naturally he hadn't shown any real interest in Bella's shop. Well, he had cared, in his own kind of way. See, Charlie was a man who did not make much of things. He rarely put any kind of meaning into anything. Bella's flower-shop had just been another "_uhu_" moment for him. He had gone along with everything. Bella missed that; the easy-going nature. She tried to found comfort in the thought that Charlie probably didn't die scared. She tried thinking he had handled it the Charlie-way, although the thought rarely provided any comfort. It never changed the fact that he went too soon and that Bella missed her father terribly every day.  
She finally decided on a simple blue flower. Briefly her mind wandered to the meaning of it. Blue as a color represents peace, calm. Serenity. She certainly hoped that Charlie had found that, that he felt that now wherever he was. Feeling overcome by sadness she quickly locked the store and turned to the little dog she'd already placed in the basket on her bike. Surrounded by a blanket and a toy: a very small teddy bear, he looked quite content and Bella smiled through her unshed tears. Somewhat lighter at heart she placed the blue flower next to the puppy named Edward who didn't recognize the ojbect next to him, but accepted it anyways.  
"We're off to see Charlie" Bella explained to him as she got on the bike.  
Bella felt tears welling up to her eyes. She rarely cried nowadays, but somehow explaining to this little dog with huge dark eyes that already looked sad on their own, made her sniff out loud and before she knew it she was crying. The dog looked confused.  
"Maybe your dad is dead too" Bella said, feeling even sadder now.  
The dog seemed to take offense, Bella imagined, as he looked down on his paws instead. Bella petted him gently on his head and seemed to be forgiven quickly.  
"I'm going to call you Ed, just to take some of the weirdness off, okay?" She told him as she began riding her bike in the direction of the cemetery of Forks.  
The real Edward would never have liked to be called Ed, or Eddy for that matter. If Bella would ever see Edward again she swore she would call him something like that. Odd how Bella desired to do such a random small thing if she ever saw her old love again, but that only shows how little she was counting on it. There were fully rational reasons why she wasn't counting on it at all.  
Anyways, she didn't think of him much now, especially not since Charlie died. Her mind was occupied with missing her father and being a mom, although her son was on the verge of entering adulthood, being a mother was a fulltime job.  
She arrived at the cemetery and immediately felt watched.  
_Not now, please,_ she thought to herself. _Any other day, any other time, but not this time. _  
"I don't want to talk to you" she said quietly, knowing that if there really was someone there, the person she thought it was, would hear it anyways.  
"Not you" she told Ed who looked up at her again with his big dark eyes.  
Bella carried the little dog and the flower in her arms as she walked over to Charlie's grave where she sat down on the grass. There was a single flower there, a red rose from a woman she knew to be Sue Clearwater: a woman who'd been hopelessly in love with Charlie, and being Charlie, he had just never gotten the hints. It warmed her heart to see the red rose knowing that someone else was thinking about Charlie too. However, a red rose was not all. Bella froze when she noticed a black rose next to it. She wasn't sure how she knew. Maybe it was because she had a strong feeling she was being watched here, or maybe it was the color. If that rose came from who she thought it came from, it came from no one according to the majority of the world. According to what most knew there was nothing called the Volturi, but Bella knew.  
"Maybe it was tasteless to leave it on the grave" a cold voice said. "But I did not know where else to put it."  
Bella took a shaky breath and did not turn around at once. She heard little Ed whimper slightly, as if he could sense danger was near.  
"I am sorry that I did not send my condolences right away" the voice said, now speaking in a quieter voice. "I have known for quite some time" it confessed a bit warmer now.  
Then Bella looked behind her and saw the man she knew so well. His cold pale face softened slightly at the sight of her face, but soon turned hard and cold again.  
"We're being watched" he said so silently Bella had to read his lips.

It could make one confusing, this game of watching and spying. The Volturi watching Bella and then in turn, the Volturi – other members of the Volturi, watching the Vulturi. Bella rose from the ground and faced Dimitri.  
"How considerate" she began, her voice cold and full of sarcasm. "My father's murderers show up to pay their respects. I'm touched."  
He knew now Bella was not acting one bit.  
"I… " the man began, but was at once interrupted.  
"Are you going to say you had nothing to do with it?" Bella asked harshly.  
"If that is what you were going to say, spare me because you and I both know that that's not true."  
Years ago the man would've been shocked at Bella's sudden outbursts, but these days he knew her well, having even taken a liking to the human to his own surprise. He wanted to tell her, he in fact, had not been there when her father had died but he had a feeling it didn't matter much.  
"Look" he said quietly.  
Bella figured they weren't being watched anymore, considering his change of demeanor. He looked fairly relaxed now, well as relaxed as someone as him could be.  
"This seems to be another way to get to…" he began, but Bella looked him straight in the eye which threw him of course. Dimitri naturally backed away slightly. If Aro could see him now, he would've have laughed; someone like him, backing away from a human and a woman nevertheless who merely looked at him? But there was something in her eyes that affected him.

"I don't need your help" Bella said, her voice shaky and upset. "I've done some research of my own. Not that it needed much thinking. It's obvious how you work" Bella said quietly shaking her head, looking down on the ground. The Volturi killing Charlie was meant to scare her and Anthony. Scare them into finally giving in and give the Volturi what they want.  
"Who else would they get now? There is no one left in my life that you find worth killing. Unless, of course, it's me this time." She looked at him. He noticed then she looked tired. He'd never seen Bella look this tired before. "Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't mind it" Bella added, not sure if she meant it or not.  
"I am sorry" Dimitri said as honestly as he could, for this was nothing he was used to. Displaying or even feeling sympathy was not something he usually did.  
Bella nodded, knowing that this was a lot coming from him.  
"What are you here for, Dimitri" she asked.

He looked at her for some seconds and then he quietly delivered the news.  
"It seems that Alice Cullen has disappeared."  
Bella automatically twitched when she heard the name. She was never prepared for when somebody, besides herself and Anthony, was going to mention the Cullens next. Whenever it happened it always felt like shock, like something she'd imagined and was surprised to know that someone else knew about them too. She was not used to it and she didn't like to talk about them with Dimitri, knowing that everything she said counted as the utmost importance. She could tell them what Alice's favorite color was and they would take mental notes of something so random.  
"That's hardly my concern, but I'm curious. What do you mean disappeared?" Bella asked.  
Dimitri did something that resembled a shrug of the shoulders. It looked unnatural. His burgundy colored eyes met hers.  
"We think she's hiding" he said.  
Bella smiled suddenly, thinking that if Aice had decided to hide, they would never find her. It was for the best. Bella did not want Alice to be found. After all these years she still cared deeply for the person she'd once called her sister. Alice, who was the adopted sister of Edward. Despite everything that had happened in the past, Bella would never let her down the way Alice had let her down.  
"I know" Dimitri said, as if he could read her mind. "Even if you knew, you would never turn her in."

Bella wasn't smiling anymore.  
"No, I wouldn't" she admitted. "Besides" she added. "Alice would never come to me. Despite what you think me and the Cullens are not friendly and haven't been for years, not since they left."  
Bella swiftly looked down on Ed, who was sleeping to her big surprise, just hanging there under her arm. Dimitri didn't notice it as his mind seemed to be elsewhere.  
"I have to leave" he said all of a sudden.  
Bella felt relieved. While she tolerated Dimitri and was not scared of him as she was of the others, it was never a joy to see him. He _was_ the enemy, even though he had unexpectedly helped her some times before, he was still one of them. Also Bella didn't know. Maybe the Volturi had given him orders to feign concern for her and to get her to confide in him hoping that one day it would provide some real information about Alice for example. Information, Bella however, did not have.

Dimitri began walking away, but seemed to change his mind and turned to look at Bella again.  
"Aro wants to know…" he began, but Bella cut him off midsentence.  
"No" she answered to the unspoken question. It was always the same. Always they were checking, acting as though they were being polite when in fact they were constantly threating and never letting Bella forget that they were planning to somehow whisk Anthony away from her, to have him leave with them at some point and join the Volturi.  
Dimitri nodded.

"It will always be no" Bella clarified.  
Dimitri's harsh face warmed slightly looking at the human. He'd asked what he always asked, what he always _had _to ask and he'd delivered the news of Alice Cullen's disapperance knowing that Bella would never willingly help the Volturi in the search for her whereabouts. Dimitri respected that Bella was loyal. Yet, Dimitri thought, she had been betrayed by the Cullens. They had left her on her own. Dimitri would have wanted revenge, but Bella still wanted to protect them knowing that it meant being in danger herself. No, he did not understand it, but he admired her for it.

He was walking away, when this time Bella stopped him by calling his name.

"Why can't you find Alice yourself? You are the best tracker" she pointed out.

Dimitri wanted to grit his teeth. He was the best tracker and that he seemed unable to locate Alice Cullen frustrated him to no end.

"Perhaps she has hidden very well" he suggested coldly, irritated that Bella had pointed out a fault in his skill. Upon this he came to thinking.

"Why did you stay in Forks?" he asked curiously. Bella was remarkable in that she seemed to go unaffected by all of their skills. As if she had an invisible shield that made it impossible. This was Aro's theory and it seemed accurate. The reason why Dimitri often found Bella anyways was because of the spies sent out by the Volutri that regularly kept a track of her whereabouts.

"You know this" Bella merely answered to his question.

The times she'd tried, the times she and Anthony had been on their way the Volturi had always found a way to stop them. They were trapped.

"I meant before Aro knew you were expecting" Dimitri clarified.

It pained Bella to think about it. Because the answer was pathetic. Because in hindsight, she would have left the instant she found out she was pregnant to avoid all of this. Bella had stayed because she'd hoped Edward would come back, that he would miraculously change his mind about leaving her. But Edward never came back and when they tried to leave it had been too late.

"I don't know" Bella answered netrually, now really wanting Dimitri to leave.

Dimitri nodded. Then all of a sudden he heard growling.  
"Shh" Bella hushed looking down on the little bundle she had in her arms.  
Dimitri finally looked at the little puppy. The dog was showing his tiny teeth and his big black eyes looked scared but he seemed determined to scare Dimitri off anyway. Not finding this very endearing, he scoffed at the animal.  
"Cute" Dimitri said.  
And then he was off.


	4. Don't think, just do

When Bella got home later that day, Anthony was relieved to see her.

"Mom" he said. "I thought you were never going to show."

Bella frowned, placing little Ed in his basket in the hallway.

"Why? What's going on?" she asked.

She had planned to tell Anthony about her latest run in with Dimitri, but felt like now was hardly the time. Bella wasn't used to seeing Anthony like this. He seemed nervous, pacing the livingroom back and forth as if he was thinking of what to do.

"Don't freak out or anything" he said looking at her catiously.

Bella sat down on the sofa. _What was going on?_

"I promise, now tell me" she ordered softly.

Anthony stopped pacing and looked at his mother.

"I have a date."

Bella nearly felt her jaw drop. Quickly a huge smile spread across her face. Anthony smiled too, but then laughed clearly embarassed.

"Stop it!" he called out right before Bella got up from the sofa and practically threw herself at him, holding him so tight he couldn't move his arms.

"You promised not to freak out" he reminded her.

Bella pulled back as she squealed.

"This is so fun!" she said happily.

Anthony smiled.

"Done?" he asked.

Bella nodded eagerly.

"Yes, now what's the problem?" she asked. "And who's the girl? Sometimes those are the same things, you know" she added, eager to offer motherly advice.

Anthony laughed.

"Her name's Jenny and I have no idea what to wear, how to act or... Basically I don't know anything" he said looking quite helpless.

So Bella took her son upstairs where they went through his closet. While they debated on what he should wear she inquired about this Jenny.

"We met at Biology" Anthony said, and Bella's heart nearly stopped.

"That's how I met your dad!" she couldn't contain her excitement.

Anthony looked surprised.

"Really? You never told me that."

"I'll tell you everything another time, but right now..." Bella gestured impatiently for him to carry on.

"She's the prettiest girl I've seen. She's funny and smart. You'd like her. I don't know where I drew courage from or anything, but all of a sudden I had asked her out and she had said yes."

"Of course she did" Bella cooed happily while picking out a darkblue button-down shirt and pants to match.

As Anthony went to change, Bella sat down on his bed, waiting and smiling to herself. When Anthony got out and did the expected turn around, Bella felt in awe. It was more apparent than ever how much he looked like Edward the older he got. There was barely any of her in him. Everything from the hair, to the skin, to the eyes, to his height, to the way he carried himself: it was all Edward.

"You look like a heartbreaker" Bella said smiling.

"Thanks" he said and sat down beside her. Suddenly he looked sad.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked concerned.

Anthony didn't answer, but instead took a deep breath as if he was trying to fight something off.

"I wish Charlie was here right now" he said quietly as he looked down on the floor.

Bella put her arm around his shoulders and held him tight.

"Me too" she said.

And then Bella held her son close as he quietly let his tears fall. Charlie had been Anthony's father figure. They used to go on fishing trips and they had always been real close. Bella knew Anthony would never stop blaming himself for his death. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.

"I don't know if this is something I can do. A potential relationship. I mean..." he trailed off. "I am what I am" he concluded.

Bella felt her heart breaking. This would be his lifelong conflict. A conflict she would solve in an instant if she could.

"What's standing in your way?" she asked him instead.

Anthony thought about it.

"It's a secret. I would always have to keep it a secret that I'm not like everyone else."

Bella nodded, realizing that would be a heavy burden, but then again...

"Maybe it doesn't have to be a secret" she suggested.

"To tell someone I'm only half-human, that I'm actually half-_vampire_..." he trailed off again, then laughing humorlessly. "Well, I could be turned in to a psych ward for claiming something like that."

"Or you meet someone great, someone who understands that you're different and won't turn you into a psych ward" Bella suggested slightly more positive than her son.

She sighed.

"Look, all I know is this. I met someone I knew from the first time I saw him that he was unlike everyone else I had ever met before, that he was different than everyone else. When I found out that he really _was_ different, that he was a _vampire_" Bella stopped here and thought back on the defining moment. "It didn't stop me from loving him."

She looked at her son.

"If someone truly loves you it won't matter" she said speaking directly from her heart.

Anthony nodded still with tears in his eyes as he took another deep breath. It was a heavy conversation concerning something he had thought much about and why he had waited to talk to his mother until now, he didn't know, but it felt better having voiced his concerns.

"You live your life the way you want to live it" Bella carried on her speech. "Normal is_ boring_" she threw out there just for the sake of it which made Anthony smile. "You're not _that _different from everyone else you know. You're just smarter, stronger, more handsome.." Anthony resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his mother's silly comment. "So maybe you go out hunting every now and then, but isn't that considered manly?" Bella mused aloud.

"You're such a goofball" he told his mother.

Bella smiled.

"Would you have wanted Charlie to give you advice? A man to man talk?" Bella guessed, thinking of how he missed Charlie especially at this moment.

Anthony nodded.

"Something like that" he said looking sad again, tears coming to his eyes.

It had an contagious effect and Bella felt her eyes welling up too. Charlie had always been such great support. He had never known _why _Anthony was different and had never cared to know why because it wouldn't have made any difference to him, he wouldn't have loved his grandson less if he had known. That kind of approach had strengthened her son. Now with Charlie gone... Bella watched her son with his head hung low and felt awful for his loss.

She took a deep breath, and then in her best imitation of Charlie, she spoke.

"_It doesn't matter who you are or what you are, just treat her right son_" she said.

Anthony, realizing what his mother was doing, felt a smile tugging on the corners of his lips, until he found himself downright laughing. He wiped away his tears and Bella laughed along with her son before composing herself.

"_Just go along with it. Don't think, just do. Don't complicate things_" Bella continued in a dark manly voice.

"He doesn't sound anything like that" Anthony remarked, now smiling widely.

"I know" she agreed.

They laughed together and Bella once again held her son close and told him he was the greatest and that any girl would be lucky to have him. As he put on his jacket getting ready to leave, she sighed to herself.

The contrasts.

Just a few hours ago she had been at her father's grave while speaking to the Volturi, only to come home to her son who in some ways was just like any other teenager who worried about girls and dates. It struck her that her little boy was growing up and she felt quite overcome by the revelation. When Anthony went to the kitchen to retrieve a flower he'd gotten for Jenny, she sighed again but this time with a smile on her face. He really was growing up.

Anthony was about to walk out the door when she stopped him.

"One last piece of advice" she said.

Anthony paid attention.

"Don't read her thoughts" Bella said.

He smiled.

"I will try not to" he said looking slightly mischievous or maybe she imagined it.

She looked at him more sternly.

"I promise" he added seriously and then after one quick embrace he was out the door.


	5. A nightmare

Bella woke up hyperventilating. With shaky hands she managed to find the lightswitch on the wall next to her bed and shielded her eyes against the sudden light. Throwing a quick glance at her nightstand watch, she saw that it was 6 am. The rain was hitting the window hard and she focused on the familiar sound as her breathing gradually slowed. It had all been a dream.

A _horrible_ dream – yes, but still just a dream.

She had dreamt about Edward again.

This time they hadn't been laughing about the fact that he'd never left. No, this time, they had been out in the woods. It had been in the middle of the night and at first it had been a romantic dream. He had kissed her softly and held her close. Bella had cherished the old familiar feeling of being in his arms once again, but then out of nowhere James had appeared and the two of them had begun fighting. At first it had looked as though Edward was winning, but the tables were quickly turned as James suddenly got a hold of Edward's neck and ripped his head off. Bella had just stood there, screaming while James lunged at her too.

That's when she'd woken up.

She reminded herself of the facts – something Dr. Ross had told her to do whenever she'd had a nightmare like this one, to set her mind straight again and calm down.

James was dead. He had been dead for years. _Fact._

James could not've broken Edward's neck, since James was dead._ Fact_.

But what about someone else? Maybe someone else had broken Edward's neck? How on Earth could Bella reality-check that one? She knew nothing about his whereabouts. She didn't know if he was still alive. But then again, surely she would've heard about it from the Volturi. They knew such information would hurt her and to see her in such pain? They would never let a chance like that slip.

Still slightly shaky Bella got up knowing she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again. She went straight to the shower, her mind a mess. She thought about Alice. _Why had she gone missing? What were the Cullens up to?_ Her mind wandered to Edward and she wondered how he was spending his time. Hoping he wasn't anywhere close to getting his head ripped off. Then she wondered about Jacob, whom she hadn't seen or heard from in weeks now. _What was he up to?_ With a heavy sigh, Bella finished her shower and got dressed. Then she brought little Ed downstairs to the kitchen where she served his breakfast and made some tea for herself.

With tired eyes Bella looked out the window. It looked cloudy and the rain hit the window hard. She noticed that the appletrees were in full bloom, which meant that applepie-season would be here any day now. How on Earth the trees had ever managed to bloom in a place as rainy and cloudy as Forks was beyond her understanding. She sighed again.

The appletrees.

They had been a birthday gift from Jacob. Along with several types of flowers she had now planted in the garden: rare types and rather expensive. It was the same year they had broken up and the same year Jacob had met Lea. Bella knew the apple-trees and flowers were gifts meant to ease his guilt, that he had moved on so quickly. When in fact Bella often felt guilt when watching the trees and flowers. Guilt that Jacob had wasted seven years on her. Jacob had wanted a child, but Bella hadn't shared his wish as had no doctors: her earlier pregnancy had nearly killed her.

It was for the best that they had parted ways. That way Jacob met Lea. While Bella wasn't too fond of her, Jacob was and that was enough for her.

Lea and Jacob had two children now: Billy and Lucy, five and four years old. And now a third one on the way. Lea _hated _Bella, especially more now that she was pregnant with crazy hormones raging. Somehow she had gotten into her brain that Jacob and Bella weren't completely through despite the fact that Bella had happily helped with the flower arrangement for their wedding and often babysat whenever they needed a night out on their own. Now Lea's supicion was stronger than ever and the few times Jacob had called her this month, or if Bella had called Jacob, he would always sneak off and pretend like he was doing something else because it would drive Lea mad if she found it was Bella on the other end.

That's why Bella was surprised to see Jacob parking his car out on the driveway hours later in broad daylight. If a phone call could drive Lea crazy, surely would a visit. If she found out about it that is.

"Hey stranger!" She said happily as she opened the door.

Jacob quickly snuk in and then hugged her, lifting her off the ground as he always did just to stress how petite she was.

"You need to eat more, Bella" he said.

Before she could protest, his attention was elsewhere.

"I heard you hit a puppy and brought it home" he said letting her go to go straight to the kitchen.

Bella rolled her eyes as she followed him. Some things never changed. Jacob would always feel right at home at Charlie's house and would always go straight to the kitchen. Out of old habit she cooked him breakfast, pancakes by request.

"Where have you been?" she asked him, though coming to think of Lea now she didn't find it so strange anymore that Jacob hadn't visited like he used to.

Jacob smiled widely looking like a kid who was up to no good, his dark eyes glittering mischievously.

"Around" he murmured as he instead turned his attention to little Ed who was looking up at him with big eyes.

"Around?" Bella repeated not knowing what it meant, but Jacob didn't seem to hear her.

"You hit this cute little thing?" Jacob asked cuddling the puppy in his arms. "You're a horrible person, Bella" he told her.

She scowled at him, but as always she could never stayed annoyed with him for very long.

"What's this little guy's name?" Jacob asked completely charmed by the little puppy.

"Ed..." Bella began, but stopped herself immediately.

Jacob would surely take offence. There may have been secrets between Bella and Jacob during their seven year long union, but he knew perfectly well who Edward was and he had never been Jacob's favorite person. If he found out that she had named a dog after him...

Well, maybe he would see it fitting? As the word _dog _could be used as an insult... But then again little Ed was very endearing and the whole concept of naming a dog after an ex was crazy! Bella had no idea what she had been thinking. It had been meant as a little joke to herself, but among who except Anthony would she be able to call him by his name? Everyone knew that Edward was _the one that got away_. Everyone would think she was crazy and God forbid if Jessica Stanley – still Fork's gossip girl number one after all these years, found out... Oh _the horror_!

"I actually haven't named him yet" Bella told him instead.

"Oh" Jacob said and put little Ed down as he himself had a sit by the table.

"So how's James?" he asked.

Bella nearly choked on her pancake.

"We broke up weeks ago" she said looking at him funnily.

_Where had he been? Surely she had told him about the break-up?_

"What? You guys were great together!" Jacob insisted.

Again Bella nearly choked on her pancake a second time.

"Are we talking about the same James?" she asked.

Jacob nodded eagerly.

And then Bella remembered. James had a thing for motorbikes, and of course had invited Jacob over, who was crazy over all kinds of engines to take a look at his bike, his pride. Some kind of rarity though Bella couldn't recall the brand as she herself wasn't that interested.

"Great guy" Jacob mused aloud.

"Great _bike_" Bella corrected.

Jacob looked guilty.

Looking back on it Bella realized what a bad idea it had been to start something with James. At first she had thought it was a good thing meeting a James who was a good person instead of the awful one she had encountered in her past, but he'd taken the relationship a little too seriously for Bella's liking. Also it turned out they had nothing in common – but _that _didn't seem to bother James at all as much as it had bothered Bella. Then again she had been the one who had to listen to all that talk about motorcycles. She had already heard enough from Jacob through the years and could do without the repeats.

"Hey Jake" Anthony greeted entering the kitchen.

He looked newly awake as he had a seat by the kitchen table.

"Hey my man" Jacob greeted as he reached over to mess up his hair. A token of affection coming from Jacob.

Anthony grimaced. He hated when he did that. Afterall he wasn't five anymore.

"He had a date last night" Bella blurted out not being able to keep such a thing to herself.

She earned a scowl from Anthony.

"Seriously?" Jacob said smiling widely at the kid he knew so well.

"Yeah" he confessed.

"Tell me all about..." Jacob trailed off, picking up his phone suddenly.

"Crap, it's Lea. I have to run" he announced.

"Sorry buddy, you're gonna have to tell me another time" he said to Anthony once again messing up his hair, but this time Anthony merely shook his head. Jacob was never going to change, might as well get used to it he thought. Bella followed Jacob to the door.

"She's crazier than ever. Jealous about everything! If I've had a midday snack without her getting reports about it she says I'm being dishonest!" Jacob said exhasperated as he put his shoes on again.

"Good luck" Bella said feeling bad for her best friend.

"Thanks" he answered.

"Goodb..." Bella began, but Jacob was already out on the driveway.

Poor thing, she thought as she watched him drive away in a hurry. When Bella went back to the kitchen Anthony was nowhere to be seen. Only little Ed and Bella was again confronted with the fact that she would have to rename him.

"I bet you think it's weird that I named you Edward. Considering he broke my heart and all, but he was…" Bella struggled to find the right word. "Unique" she finally settled on. "Some would even call him strange."

"Who?" Anthony asked, entering the kitchen again.

"Your dad" Bella answered.

Anthony smiled a little and looked at Ed.

"You're in for a story now" he told the dog.

If dogs could scowl, that is what Ed did. He still hadn't taken a liking to Anthony and probably never would. He sensed there could be danger there. Anthony had no plans to hunt Ed, but how does a, well, a _predator_ explain to a dog that you're not going to drink his blood? Anthony had yet to find a way. Shifting his thoughts to something else he told Bella what he had discovered during Jacob's short visit.

"Jacob's happy, happier than he's been in a long time" Anthony said frowning at this.

Bella didn't find this as strange as Anthony seemed to.

"Of course, he has a third baby on the way. He loves Lea and he loves kids" Bella said shrugging her shoulders. "I mean, Lea is crazy but they love each other." She began doing the dishes.

"I don't think it's about that..." Anthony said, wanting to reveal what he suspected.

But Bella turned around and looked at him raising one eyebrow. Anthony smiled innocently knowing what she was getting at.

"It doesn't work like that though. Not everyone can choose when they want to turn their mind off and when they want to turn it on" he pointed out.

Bella rolled her eyes. While she wasn't in control all the time, it did appear that she was immune to most talents. Anthony had developed a theory however that she had far more control than she let on. A common example was the cupcake. A few years ago Bella had been really in the mood for a specific cupcake but never got around to stopping by the bakery in Forks to actually get one. Then one day Anthony ordered his mother to get in the car and to Bella's surprise he had asked her to _please, please, please _drive to the bakery so that his mind could finally get some rest.

Anthony remained convinced that she'd obsessed about the cupcake for a week on purpose all the while letting him know it, simply because she had a childish sense of humour. Bella claimed she had no idea she was doing it and truly, sometimes she really was unaware. For example it was more common she'd let her thoughts slip when she was stressed or tired and then it rarely happened on purpose.

And that's probably how Anthony would've found out about Alice Cullen eventually, if Bella hadn't told him herself.

"Alice has disappeared" she told him suddenly, coming to think of it.

He looked thoughtful. Growing up he had heard a lot about the Cullens, especially about Alice since Bella had still remained fond of her after all these years. Anthony knew about Alice's ability. To see the future. The fact that he had disappeared had him feeling slightly worried.

"Do you think it means anything?" he asked.

Bella shrugged her shoulders.

"The Volturi's been asking. According to them it means something, otherwise they wouldn't be so set on finding her."

"I'll see what I can find out" he decided.

Bella shook her head disapprovingly at the idea of Anthony getting more involved in the Volturi's business than he needed to be.

"Why? Maybe it has nothing to do with us" she said.

Anthony didn't find that very plausible. The Volturi wasn't his favorite-thing in the world, but they were not stupid and if they had asked Bella about Alice it meant that it had _something _to do with them. He was determined to find out what was going on. Bella looked at her son knowing what he was thinking because she was thinking the same thing. That this probably had something to do with them although she wished it hadn't.

Suddenly she thought of the nightmare and shuddered as the image of how Edward had been killed flashed before her eyes once more. She wondered if Edward could be in any sort of danger, if the dream meant anything at all, but then she looked at her son realizing she had someone else to worry about. Feeling more decisive and strong than scared she managed to push her weaknesses aside and pull herself together as she had done so many times before.

There was _nothing_ Bella would not do to protect her son.

* * *

_Hello :)_

_So I recently discovered there's another fanfic with nearly the same title as this one. I just wanted to tell you guys that it wasn't intentional, and thank you for reading of course!_

_/bluebluerose_


	6. Death hurts

Monday morning Bella took her bicycle to work with Ed placed in the basket. Bella had a headache. Again she had had a nightmare. This one unfortunately a repeat of the last. With this still on her mind Bella didn't notice that Ed was acting oddly growling from time to time looking as if he was on his watch.

It wasn't until he started barking that Bella stopped her bicycle.

"What's wrong?" she asked the dog.

She wondered if he was in a bad mood or if he was hurting because of his injured leg that was still healing. It never occured to her that he might be sensing something she didn't. The barkings grew louder as the little dog looked straight ahead. Bella followed the dog's gaze.

She froze.

The pale girl standing in front of her was smiling wickedly. Her bright red eyes seemed to stare right through Bella's soul.

"Jane" Bella greeted politely trying to display a calm she didn't feel.

Little Ed had stopped barking and was now only shaking while trying to hide in his little basket. Bella petted him calmly trying to tell him it was going to be alright. Although she wasn't so sure. While Dimitri had never laid a hand on her nor had he never been close to fysically hurting her Jane was the opposite. If she ever saw an opportunity to cause pain she seized it. Through the years Aro had given strict orders not to kill Bella as she was more precious to him alive, but had said nothing about _having a little fun_ – as Jane liked to put it.

"And our favorite Swan" Jane greeted smiling widely.

It was an evil smile that made Bella shiver.

"Aro says hello?" she conversed politely.

"He's not happy with you" Jane answered.

Bella felt annoyed.

"My life is all about making Aro happy, isn't it?"

Jane didn't answer but instead began walking around confidently.

"When you got involved with the Cullens" Jane began frowning as if she was deep in thought. She stopped in her tracks suddenly, looking Bella straight in the eye. "Did it ever occur to you that it would put you in danger? That maybe..." she pretended to think again. "One day it would end your life?" she asked.

Bella shook her head.

"I'm not playing your mindgames. I've played them all already."

Jane raised one eyebrow.

"You're not afraid of death, are you?" she asked.

Before Bella could think her answer through she answered exactly what she was thinking.

"If it doesn't hurt too much."

Jane smiled again apparently pleased with the answer.

"Well there you said it, didn't you?" she mused. "Death _does_ hurt."

Bella felt hear heart speed up and her grip on her bike tightened slightly. She'd just gotten herself in deep trouble. You don't small-talk with the Volturi, unless it was Dimitri and even then it's slightly out of line.

But this was Jane and she was something else: Aro's pet entirely and slightly out of control.

"Of course" Jane said. "I will never know" she smiled again.

"Planning on living forever?" Bella couldn't help but to retort.

She told herself to stop making this even more enjoyable to Jane, but suddenly felt that it didn't matter. Bella had a feeling Jane was going to do exactly what she felt like doing anyway. Horror struck Bella as she realized that maybe Aro had changed his mind. Maybe Bella wasn't very valuable alive anymore. Afterall she hadn't been very willing to corporate through the years and she still didn't seem to get any closer to fullfilling his wish. That would mean Jane could finally do what she had wanted to do all these years.

To kill her.

"You're not taking this very seriously" Jane said disapprovingly. "That makes me unhappy."

She began walking around again.

"Since I'm here doing my job I'm going to ask if you're going to do yours."

Bella frowned._ What was she talking about this time?_

"Are you going to turn in Alice Cullen?" Jane asked.

Bella could hardly believe it! The Volturi took pride in their detective skills. They could find anybody anytime no matter where they were hiding (_until Alice, that is_) but they couldn't figure out that Bella genuinely had no idea where Alice Cullen was.

Bella's death would be such a useless one.

"I don't know where she is, and no pain or torture could ever give me that kind of knowledge" Bella answered slightly irritated.

Jane smiled and her red eyes seemed to twinkle.

"Then we don't have much use for you anyway, don't we?"

Bella said nothing but instead let her hand run through little Ed's soft fur looking away from the pale girl in front of her and down on the scared puppy. Her heart was pounding hard knowing what was coming and that there was nothing she could do. If Bella were to die today, _what would happen to Anthony?_ She wondered. There would be nothing left for him in Forks. Charlie was gone and with Bella gone would he accept Aro's standing invitation and finally join the Volturi? _Give in_?

Bella told herself rather sharply not to despair because she was scared. She found the answer in her heart.

No, not Anthony.

He would never give in.

Right when she felt this conviction she looked up at Jane who was still smiling.

She was now staring hard at Bella squinting her eyes to get focus. Then she shrugged her head and Bella knew what she had remembered.

"Right, you were..._ immune_ to our talents" Jane reminded herself.

She seemed to think things over. Bella's heart sped up and her hands felt shaky as she waited.

The girl's smile widened.

"I guess we have to do it the old-fashioned way" she decided.

Bella stood no chance as Jane lunged at her.

The pain was excruciating as Bella's arm was the first part of her body to break. The last thought that hit Bella before it all blackened was not one about her son, Charlie or Edward. Instead it had to do with the person she had once considered her sister.

_Alice, where are you?_


	7. Seventeen years ago

_17 years ago._

* * *

Bella looked into a pair of bright red eyes and remembered Edward telling her about vampires that fed on humans and not animals as Edward and his family did. Vampires that fed on humans had bright red eyes. Just like this one. It was more apparent than ever to Bella that she was in the company of a predator.

"_Isabella, _so we finally meet" the man with the red eyes said.

"Who are you?" she asked carefully.

Taking a walk in the woods on her own was something she used to do. Ever since Edward had left it seemed that it was the only thing that prevented her from going crazy. But today, she wasn't alone. As she had reached her favorite spot, a meadow where she and Edward used to go, the pale man was there seemingly waiting for her.

The man smiled and took a hold of her hand. Bella didn't dare to move as he brought up her wrist to his nose and took a deep breath with his eyes closed. He looked as if he was thoroughly enjoying it and Bella was strangely fascinated.

"My name..." the man began still with his eyes closed.

Then he opened them and again it struck Bella how bright red they really were.

"... is Aro" he finished his sentence.

_Aro._

Bella recognized the name. Edward had briefly told her about _The Volturi_, the largest and most powerful vampire coven. They see themselves as guardians: they enforce and protect the laws of the world of vampires. The most important law being to keep the existence of vampires a secret. A law Edward had broken as Bella knew what he and his family was, but then again she had reached that conclusion on her own. She didn't think the Volturi cared much for that though. From what she'd heard they preferred to act instead of asking questions.

"It is unusual for a human to be involved the way you are" he remarked.

Without thinking about it Bella cradled her stomach as if to protect it from Aro's glance.

"Oh I know, dear one" Aro said smiling.

"May I?" he asked reaching out.

Without daring to say no Bella watched as Aro's hands got closer. She closed her eyes and begged that he would not touch her baby, for what it was worth. When she opened them she noted that Aro's hands were nowhere near her stomach. Instead he looked intrigued.

"Peculiar" he commented as he once again tried to touch her, but it seemed as though there was an invisible shield in between them, a wall of air that prevented him from getting closer.

Aro stepped back and chuckled amazed.

"It is much more than what I hoped for" he said cryptically.

Bella didn't ask what he meant as she felt far too frightened suddenly. Aro looked utterly concerned frowning as if he was in pain.

"Isabella, I have heard that the Cullens left you here, alone and unprotected" he said.

"I'm not alone" Bella retorted.

Aro nodded again concerned.

"Maybe not alone, but certainly unprotected" he said.

Bella didn't know what to say as she had no idea what possible dangers there could be. Edward had left her claiming their world was too unnatural for her, too dangerous. Would that not mean that the danger had went away with them? Aro raised one eyebrow as if he knew what she was thinking.

"Well you are a part of our world now whether you like it or not."

He paused.

"And some might say what you and our dear Edward have done would be against the rules" Aro said raising one eyebrow smiling slightly.

Bella suddenly realized what Aro was saying. He was implying that she needed protection from _them_.

"What exactly are you here for?" she asked him.

"I have come here with an offer, dear Isabella."

He paused.

"I invite you and your unborn child to Volterra where you would stay under my protection."

A strange request, Bella noted.

"What's in it for you?" she asked feeling a stronge dislike for the man.

Aro chuckled slightly.

"You are not stupid, Isabella. I have wandered this earth many years and seen many things, but a vampire and a human mating... _This_" he said, gesturing to her stomach. "is something entirely new and I admit I am eager to see what you are expecting."

Bella didn't buy it.

"So you want us to move to Volterra to live with you?" she asked incrediously.

Aro nodded mutely, his eyes gleaming at the prospect.

"Or I could simply send you a card" Bella suggested dryly.

Aro laughed delighted.

"A sense of humour!" he exclaimed happily clasping his hands together. "Yes, you are not stupid Isabella" he said once more. "One with your intelligence, and your... _talent_. We would be delighted to have you join us."

By talent Aro Bella could only guess he was referring to the inexplainable fact that he seemed unable to touch her and perhaps was referring to the fact that Edward had not been able to read her mind – although Bella wasn't sure if Aro had heard about that or _how_ he had heard about it if he had.

"You would make me one of you?" Bella asked carefully.

Aro nodded smiling. He could tell this was something that intrigued Bella, but he was fooled by her moment of curiousness at the prospect. Because it had been something Bella had wished of Edward when they were still together, that he'd make her one of them so that they could be together forever. But with Edward gone what was the point of it? And raise her child in Volterra far away from Charlie and the people that she loved? _Feed on humans_? That didn't sound very tempting. Also, she couldn't see why Aro would want to do this, considering.

"That would be breaking your own rules" Bella pointed out thinking of how Aro would turn her into a vampire. That couldn't be supported by the Volturi.

Aro chuckled.

"For a great exception" he filled in.

Oh right, he_ was_ the Volturi meaning he could do whatever he pleased.

Bella shook her head at the thought.

"While I thank you for your offer, I have to decline" she finally said.

Aro's smile faltered only a little as his bright red eyes still boored into her.

"Think of your child, Isabella" Aro cautioned and let his eyes briefly flicker down to her stomach and then up to Bella's eyes again.

"That's what I'm doing" Bella said slightly annoyed now that he'd interrupted her day out in the woods. _Who did he think he was?_

Aro's smile faltered for real now and he looked disapproving.

"Do you not find it peculiar that they left you knowing you were expecting?" Aro asked.

Bella shook her head determined not to let mindgames get to her.

"They didn''t know" she said.

But Aro looked at her intently.

"How could they _not_ know, Isabella? Alice Cullen has the gift of foresight" he pointed out.

While that thought had struck Bella many times she didn't want to listen to Aro as she knew what he was trying to get across. Why would Bella stay in Forks when no one cared about her? When the ones she'd thought cared about her, just left maybe even knowing her fate? But Aro was forgetting something. While the love of her life had left her along with his family and the person she'd considered her sister had done the same, Bella still had Charlie and her baby: that was enough to keep her in the world.

"It doesn't matter the answer's still no" Bella said looking him steadily in the eyes.

"Then you remain unprotected" he answered coldly.

Then the smile returned.

"We will meet again, Isabella" Aro said before walking away.

Bella looked at him disappearing more deeply into the forest. It wasn't until she was sure that he'd left, a half hour later, that she let her tears fall. She cradled her stomach and wept.

"You are not unprotected" she told her unborn baby.

"I would die before giving you to them, but I will not let them take you. I promise."

Again she couldn't help to wonder if Alice had known.

* * *

_I got my first review! Guest you semed as thrilled as I was when I saw you were the first one to review haha :D thank you so much for commenting and to answer your question if Bella is a vampire.. We'll see what happens after hers and Jane's meeting.. (Du du du dun...!)_


	8. Waking up

"Bella."

At the sound of her name she tried to open her eyes.

"This is Rosalie."

_Rosalie_? As in _Rosalie Cullen_? She was Edward's other sister. The one Cullen Bella had_ never _been able to charm. In fact, Rosalie had disliked her from the minute they met. It was hard to change someone's opinion when they didn't really dislike you for who you were, but rather for _what_ you were. Rosalie had been provoked that Bella didn't seem to fully appreciate the possibilites of a human life. For example to be able to have a baby, Rosalie's own dearest wish.

Bella tried again to open her eyes or at least move, but it seemed impossible. As if Rosalie could read her mind she brought it up.

"You're going to be able to move soon. The sedation is starting to wear off" she informed calmly.

She paused.

"Don't be scared. It's the drugs. We had to sedate you for a few hours to... well, to piece you together."

"Rosalie!" a boy's voice scolded. "_Piece together? _You're really calming her now. Listen Bella, you had a few broken bones, so what? You're going to be a-okay, sis."

And just like that Bella knew who it was. It was Emmett who had embraced her, litterally, with open arms from the moment Bella had been introduced to the Cullen family. He was big like a big teddy-bear with the easiest personality.

"Yeah, and we _pieced _her together" Rosalie insisted sounding annoyed. "A big wound in her abdomen, a broken arm and a concussion" she listed. Then she spoke to Bella again. "Listen I know I'm probably not one of your favorite persons in the world, but humans do mature. Maybe we do too?" she asked no one in particular. "Well for what's it's worth atleast _I _don't hate _you _anymore."

"She always liked me" Emmett said happily.

From the sound of it Rosalie gave Emmett a slap on the arm, or at least that's what Bella figured.

"It wouldn't be fair to be jealous of you anymore" she continued. "After all you're aging and I'm not."

Rosalie laughed, but it didn't sound like Bella remembered: while Rose's voice had always been melodic and beautiful it had never been filled with any kind of warmth, but it was now. Bella wondered what had brought on the change. If it was simply that she was lying here helpless and that Rosalie felt bad for her. Or she really _had_ matured.

"That was mean, Rosie" Emmett commented.

"To be fair then, for real" Rosalie sighed. "You look exactly the same and I guess _that_ gives me enough reason to hate you again."

When it was Emmett's turn to speak he sounded troubled, not like Bella was used to hearing him.

"Edward would beat himself up if he saw her now. I bet Bella's still the same and she hasn't even turned into this ugly older woman."

"_Ugly older woman?_" Rosalie repeated sounding offended.

To Bella's amusement Emmett explained further. Not a very smart thing to do.

"Yeah, I mean. If I left Bella I would hope that she'd turn ugly or at least become a bad person so that I'd feel no regret if I ever saw her again."

"You'd think that of _me_, Em? Really?" Rosalie said obviously taking this personally.

Emmett sighed.

"No, I said if_ I_ was Edward and Bella was Bella. _You _can't really change which means you can't get ugly or old, so..."

"You're messing with me, right? And you know Edward's not like that. He would..."

"Probably prefer if we didn't talk about this" Emmett filled in quickly, probably having caught himself talking about things he shouldn't talk about .

Rosalie sighed.

"You're right. Besides Bella can most likely hear us right now. It's not fair to even bring up Edward. He's probably the last person she'd want to hear about considering he put her in this mess in the first place."

"He meant well and you know it" Emmett argued.

That was something Bella could not understand. _He meant well? How_? Alright, that was quite enough. Bella tried to open her eyes and Rosalie immediately told Emmett to "_shush!_" and "_she's about to wake up!_" Bella's vision was blurry and she couldn't quite make out their faces at first. She blinked a couple of times and slowly she could see clearer.

"What happened?" she got out though her voice was hoarse and weak.

"Someone really wanted to hurt you, that's what happened" Rosalie answered. "And why, well that's the real question" she added.

Bella's vision was clear enough. She saw blonde shiny hair and the dark golden eyes she remembered from before. Rosalie wasn't exactly smiling but her facial expression was far softer than Bella ever recalled seeing. She looked worried, something Bella had never seen before.

"Sorry we're not your favorite-Cullens" she began smiling shrewdly.

"I always liked Emmett" Bella croaked.

"I told you!" Emmett said to Rosalie and then turned to Bella with a huge smile.

She then looked at Emmett. Yes, they both looked as if seventeen years hadn't gone by. Which was confusing. Because the years had passed and things had changed and people changed _normally_ - but they weren't _people. _They weren't human and apparently wasn't too fond of extreme make-overs despite their eternal lives.

"How are you feeling sis?" Emmett asked, his golden eyes gleaming brightly as he looked at her.

"Awful" Bella answered, slowly sitting up straight. Both Rosalie and Emmett grimaced as if they could imagine her pain.

Bella in turn could merely look at them confused. It was unreal to see them again after all this time.

"Where's Jane?" she asked.

Emmett's smile faded away and he looked angry.

"_Jane_?" he repeated heatedly. "As in that..." he stopped and closed his eyes briefly as if to collect himself.

No, none of the Volturi was very well-liked by the Cullens.

"So that explains the scent" Rosalie concluded.

She looked at Bella.

"We knew whoever did this to you wasn't human, we felt it, but Emmett found you by chance. You were lying in the middle of the road all alone severely hurt. What happened, Bella? What kind of business do you have with the Volturi?" she asked looking suspiscious.

Bella sighed and felt like pinching the bridge of her nose as Edward always did when he was troubled or deep in thought. Or at least that's what he used to do, maybe he didn't do it anymore. Maybe he... Bella _trailed off in her thoughts. Where was I? Oh right, maybe he didn't pinch the bridge of his nose anymore. Oh my god_, Bella thought. _My thoughts are all over the place!_

"Bella?"

"I'll tell you when I'm all clear" Bella answered gesturing towards her head.

Although she wasn't so sure if she had any intention of explaining anything to any member of the Cullen family. Afterall, did she owe them anything? Suddenly Bella felt annoyed. What right did they have to just waltz in and demand answers to their questions? _Well they did save your life, _a careful voice answered. _They did not save my life! _Bella shouted in her mind. They said she was severely hurt when they found her, yes, but not _dying_. She felt childish, but was in no mind to think any clearer.

Still, Emmett and Rosalie seemed to accept her answer for now. They simply nodded in understanding.

"So awake and all!" I'm afraid we're going to need _some _answers" Rosalie continued lightly.

_Ugh, fine _Bella thought. Rosalie looked as if she was concentrating.

"Have you seen Alice or do you have any information as to where she might be hiding?" she asked.

"No" Bella answered looking Rosalie dead in the eye.

She nodded satisfactory.

"Have you got any idea or information as to _why_ the Volturi would want to find Alice?" she asked.

"No" Bella repeated. "Look" she sighed, her voice coming out clearer and stronger now that she'd been awake for a little while. "If you came here thinking I did a tell-all of some sorts to the Volturi I'm afraid I have to disappoint you. They asked me about Alice but I don't know anything about it."

Bella felt bittter. _Very_ bitter all of a sudden. _If only they knew I got enough troubles of my own, _she thought tiredly.

"I better get home" she said and put her feet on the floor.

Emmett and Rosalie looked on in shock as Bella reached out with the arm that was not bandaged and pulled out the IV drip from her arm.

"But that's your pain relief" Rosalie said looking quite shocked.

"It's best if you stay here" Emmett said concerned. "You need to rest."

"Thanks for helping me" Bella answered. "But I'm going home" she added a bit more decisive.

Emmett seemed to sigh or some sorts as he looked at Rosalie.

"Bella, you're safe with us. This is... our house."

Bella shivered when she realized this was the very house she had visited so often all those years ago. In that same moment she recognized the room. One of the guestrooms although it looked slightly different. She figured Esme, their "mother" and Carlisle their "father" probably had redesigned as they both loved decorating.

"How are Esme and Carlisle?" Bella asked standing up not feeling as unsteady on her feet as she'd expected.

"Good" Emmett answered seemingly puzzled by the sudden question.

Bella nodded satisfactory.

"That is good indeed" she said formally.

"And Alice?" she asked a little mockingly thinking they probably wouldn't even give her that much detail. Somehow Bella had a feeling the Cullens knew where Alice was hiding and why.

Rosalie looked a little wary.

"We don't know" she answered.

Bella nodded again not sure if she belived her. She was very aware of the fact that she hadn't asked about Edward, but that was a conscious decision. The nightmares had really frightened her, but he must be fine. Surely they would have said something if he wasn't.

"Well I'm off" she announced.

Emmett snorted.

"You were serious?" he asked.

Bella looked him straight in the eye.

"Yes."

She could tell by the looks on their faces again that this wasn't something they approved of.

"I will get a cab to the hospital" she suggested.

"We could drive you" Emmett flicked in, but Rosalie shook her head.

"Just get her a cab" she sighed.

_Bella_ liked Rosalie a little more now.

"Thank you" she said and her least favorite Cullen nodded stiffly.

Emmett left the room to go and make the call. While Bella felt like she had a thousand things to ask and say, she didn't quite know what to ask or say. It was a peculiar feeling and somehow she could sense the same conflict in Rosalie. She was looking at Bella with a small frown on her face.

Some minutes later Emmett came back. He looked at both of them back and forth trying to decide what was going on.

"_Okay_..." he said looking as if he didn't get it. "The cab will be here in ten minutes." Then he turned to Bella. "It's probably a good thing we don't drive you anyways. We're not accustomed to you just yet" Emmett said apologetically. "You know small spaces and not very big windows to open, although I can drive _really _fast" he mused aloud.

Then he paused. Bella had a trouble following.

"But you don't smell like I remember. It's unfamiliar somehow" he said shaking his head in confusion.

"_Oh_" Bella said.

He's talking about her scent. That's when she noticed the windows were wide-open. Funny she hadn't felt the cold. It had been a long time since Bella had heard anyone talk about her scent. Anthony hardly ever mentioned it because he had been used to it since birth. The Volturi merely grimaced at times. It was only Aro who screwed manners, licked his lips and called her "_mouthwatering._" Bella shivered at the thought and was glad she hadn't seen Aro in a while.

"You promise you're going to the hospital?" Emmett asked.

Bella nodded.

"I promise" she answered smiling faintly. "But I feel alright."

It was true because the pain was quickly receding and it didn't make sense considering the pain relief had been in her IV drip and that was gone. She had a broken arm, a severe concussion and a big wound in her abdomen, but suddenly she didn't feel a thing.

"You don't need to play strong, Bella. Take these" Rosalie ordered.

Bella didn't quite trust the wellness she was feeling so she took the pills Rosalie handed her.

Making her way out of the house, going through the familiar hallway felt surprisingly good to Bella. She'd always thought she'd feel sad upon visiting the house again. Of course she'd seen it from afar at times but then it always looked like a haunted house. Thinking about it: that was half-true. Maybe it_ was_ haunted depending on how you looked at it. The cab was right outside. It was so ordinary and so unlike the Cullens to have a cab come to their house that she felt like laughing. It must be the pills. They were already getting to her, making her feel all funny and absent.

"Take care sis" Emmett said waving her off. "We'll meet again soon."

"Thank you for helping me" she told them both suddenly feeling a bit sentimental.

She turned her back on them before they could see her get teary-eyed. _It really must be the pills_ Bella thought. In the very moment that she walked to the car she felt as though she should be carrying something or _someone. _Her heart skipped a beat in fright as she realized what was missing. She turned around.

"You didn't see a little dog nearby when you found me?" she called back to Emmett and Rosalie.

They both shook their heads at the same time.

_What on earth happened to little Ed? _Bella wondered worriedly.

"The hospital, right?" the cabdriver asked right after she'd gotten inside the car.

Bella shook her head.

"No, home" she answered determinedly.

Sometimes they were the same things Bella mused thinking about how often she went to the hospital. Bella told the driver her adress and so they were off. For some reason, or well because Bella was obviously on some heavy painkillers, Bella ordered him to stop much earlier than planned.

"Are you sure about that lady?" he asked confused because there was still a bit left to drive.

She nodded and realized in that very second she had no money.

"It's already taken care of" the driver said smiling at her.

Relieved Bella got out of the car. Bella confusedly looked around her. What a day! First Jane attacked her with the promise of killing her. Waking up at the Cullen's... She really needed to find little Ed though.

"What's going on?" she heard someone call out.

She looked to her left and noticed Anthony running towards her. He had a backpack slung across his shoulder. He was obviously on his way home from school and he looked pretty much horrified Bella stated.

"Jesus, mom!" he said as he took in her appearance.

She looked around her feeling as if the world was spinning.

"_Jesus_?" she repeated groggily. "No, it's just me."

Was she slurring? _What on earth had Rosalie given her_? Usually Anthony would've rolled his eyes at her silly comment, but now he was far too worried. He had seen his mother in bandage several times before, but this was at a whole new level and she had been on her own with that _vile thing Jane_.

"You should've stayed with them" he said his voice shaking slightly. "Carlisle would've helped you."

Bella was carefully scooped up in Anthony's arms as he steered in the direction of their house.

"Carlisle?" Bella repeated drowsily looking up at her son.

Anthony's jaw clenched and he looked serious.

"The whole clan is in town. Best I stay out of their eyehold. I'm going to speed up if that's okay."

And so they were on their way home.

* * *

**Wow thank you all for the reviews! I'm sooo thrilled to read them and I love hearing what you think.**

**Ladyice5:** I'm thinking Bella tapped into Anthony's power as well and that's what made her power so awesome! At that time they could form a very strong shield together that could protect them from pretty much anything. That's why Aro never managed to snatch away Bella against her (and Anthony's will) while she was expecting. On her own her power's not that strong. That's why Jane has managed to hurt her quite a bit over the years.

**Rainn74**: yeah there will be more about the therapist's reaction really soon :) I'm glad you find Bella kind of quirky because that's how I wanted to be in this story :D Yeah I really like Bella's and Anthony's relationship too. They have always had to protect each other and Bella had him so young that it feels natural that they would fall into a kind of older sister/ younger brother relationship.

**Unstoppable Naley**: Wooow thank you, that makes me so happy :D Edward will most definitely make an appearance...

**Guest: **I'm so glad you find it intriguing, I will try to keep it that way!


	9. A visitor

"There's no use in hiding!" Bella almost growled out of frustration. "They're just like you, they know _everything_!"

Anthony frowned. They were sitting in the livingroom drinking tea and watching the storm through the windows. Two hours ago rain had begun pouring down and the winds weren't exactly merciful. The house was squeaky and old and now it sounded like it was crying almost. Little Ed was lying on Bella's lap covered in a blanket shaking. They had found him at the doorstep when they had gotten home after Bella's attack. How on earth Ed had managed to get there they had no idea, but it was good to have him home safe and sound.

"It's not like I have knowledge merely by wanting it" Anthoyn said seriously. "If they know anything it's because they've searched for it. They don't really have any reason to believe that you have a son, if the Volturi haven't spoken to them and somehow it seems unlikely that they'd want the Cullens to know that."

"Yeah because they want you for themselves" Bella filled in tiredly.

"And from what I've heard the Cullens don't know I exist and I haven't managed to find out why they're all back" Anthony said. "I guess you didn't ask?"

"No I didn't, but I find it hard to believe why they would tell me considering they were so secretive regarding Alice already" Bella said. "What about Edward? You know with the mind-reading? It seems unlikely that he doesn't know.." Bella mused aloud.

Forks was a small-town and gossip was always running high thanks to the one and only Jessica Stanley. Bella had a hard time imagining her mind would be a hard one to read considering her mouth constantly was revealing her every thought about everything and everyone. As if Anthony could read Bella's mind just now he grimaced.

"Jessica Stanley. It's kind of useless to read her mind when you can just as easily ask her anything and she will tell you everything" he filled in. Then he shook his head. "I'm not sure Edward's even here. I haven't picked up on anything yet, so for now I'm still a secret."

"Keeping you that way will be hard. We can't very well hide you. You can't ditch school" Bella sighed.

"Why not?" Anthony asked smiling.

Bella ignored him and continued on.

"It's not like you don't look like someone we used to know."

Anthony smiled briefly.

"Just say it out loud, I look exactly like Edward."

"You look exactly like Edward" Bella said.

"I'll put a cap on" Anthony suggested.

Bella shook her head.

"They're just going to wonder what Edward's doing with a cap on. It's not exactly his style, at least it wasn't back in the day."

They looked at each other again, both of them looking quite confused.

"Remind me again why we're even trying to hide me" Anthony said.

"Honestly I don't know" Bella admitted.

She thought about it. Would it be so awful if the Cullens found out? Sooner or later they probably would anyway, but why not sooner? Bella felt uneasy.

"I guess I'm afraid that they're going to need you for something. I want you out of their word. There's already plenty of people that want you for something."

Anthony nodded.

"Then I'm going to do my best to stay out of their sight for as long as I can."

"But your ability..." Bella said worriedly. "Edward has it too."

"From what I understand, although I can't be sure, Edward can't protect his thoughts. I have never met another mindreader, but I've managed to protect myself from the Volturi's abilites so far... Chances are I can probably protect myself from Edward's ability too."

"And if you can read all of their minds, including Edward's, you're going be able to stay under the radar a little longer" Bella filled in happily.

They fell quiet for some time.

"Rosalie was impressed by you" Anthony said all of a sudden. "Against her own will of course" he added when he noticed Bella's surprised facial expression.

"Why?" she asked.

He laughed a little.

"You came off as strong and independent. You didn't seem to need them anymore. She thought you'd be over the moon seeing them again, begging her to let you met Edward, but you didn't react as she'd expected. When you insisted upon leaving the house so quickly she was practically in shock."

He seemed to stiffen slightly.

"There's someone at the door" he said.

Bella tried to hear what Anthony was hearing although she knew it was impossible. She got up, little Ed in her arms and headed down the hall. She felt uncomfortable and had a feeling that the someone at the door was not a neighbor wanting to borrow some sugar. Which normal person would go out in a storm like this? She tried peeking through the little window on the door but the storm made it impossible to see anything but rain and darkness.

Anthony stood perfectly still. Then suddenly he looked very surprised.

"It's alright, it's..." he trailed off. "It's Carlisle" he filled in frowning.

Bella stiffened but told herself to get a grip. She's a grown woman, she can greet her old ex-boyfriend's dad. Big deal! Anthony disappeared in the blink of an eye and Bella went to get the door. She opened the door before she could regret it. Although she was expecting him now, she was still shocked as she looked at Carlisle. He was smiling carefully with a small frown on his face as if wordlessly asking if it was alright that he was here. He too, of course, looked exactly the same. Not a day older and he hadn't even gotten a new haircut. His hair was blonde and short as always and his eyes were gentle-looking and bronze colored. They still hadn't spoken. Bella broke the silence.

"You don't remember where you used to live, do you?" she asked him.

He chuckled softly and the frown on his face disappeared.

"I am so glad to see that you're well" he said.

Bella gestured for him to come inside and stepped aside to let him in. Carlisle took off his coat.

"What a storm" he commented.

Bella smiled.

"I would offer you some tea, but there's no real use" she said apologetically closing the door behind him with one hand. "And this dog is not a snack, he's a friend" she added quickly looking down at little Ed in her arms.

Carlisle chuckled again.

"Still have your sense of humor I hear" he said approvingly.

"Of course" Bella said.

Carlisle took a look around and nodded as if he liked what he was seeing.

"You've put your touch on the place" he commented.

Then his eyes met hers and he sounded very sincere when he spoke.

"I'm sorry to hear about Charlie. He was a fine man."

Bella nodded.

"I know" she agreed quietly. "I miss him very much. Of course there was an option to sell the house, but I just couldn't so we stayed." _We? Oh no. _"Me and the dog" she added with a nervous laugh. "What brings you here?" she asked switching the subject as she had a seat.

Carlisle did the same although Bella knew it really made no difference to him whether or not he was sitting or standing. His eyes focused intently on her and he looked slightly worried.

"I wanted to see you and see how you were doing of course. After you left the house still so wounded" he answered.

Bella had nearly forgotten about the incident although it happened just yesterday. In that same moment she realized she didn't feel her wounds or broken bones at all. Strange.

"I actually feel well, thank you for your help" she answered.

Carlisle nodded, frowning, but still he could see for himself that Bella didn't seem to be in any pain whatsoever.

"And in general?" he asked. "You know, the last time I saw you, before yesterday, I was not so sure how things were going to turn out."

"Fair enough" Bella said sighing recalling how sudden the Cullen's departure had come all those years ago. "Seeing you here is odd considering how it all went down. It would feel worse to see you if I was dissatisfied with my life."

"And you're not I hope?" Carlisle flicked in.

"Life has turned out pretty well" Bella answered lightly.

She ignored the parts of her life that she wasn't so happy with it and instead focused on Anthony and the new addition to their family, Little Ed. Bella wanted to pinch herself. Doing small-talk with Carlisle after all these years? Woah! The puppy growled all of a sudden and Bella noticed that he was looking at Carlisle.

"I'm sorry. He's not too fond of new people" Bella said smiling down at little Ed.

Carlisle chuckled.

"Or it could be that he's sensing danger" he said. "Although there is no danger" he added. "What's his name?"

"_E._.." Bella began but caught herself immediately and then cursing inaudibly at herself for naming the puppy Edward. "Espen" she filled in quickly. Thankfully Carlisle nodded and seemed to drop the subject.

"How is Edward?" Bella asked.

_Darn it_! The question was out before she knew it. She just couldn't help herself. The memories of Edward were seventeen years old. She wondered how many times he'd graduated High school since then or if he had been travelling across the world.

"The same" Carlisle answered. "You know thinking a lot, disappearing from time to time."

Bella was going to chime in that his son had some of that too, but realized that wouldn't be very wise. In that same instant she froze. Discreetly she threw a glance at the bookshelf knowing there were pictures of Anthony there. To her relief she noticed that they were all gone. Anthony had been effective with his time she noted.

"Is there anyone in your life?" Carlisle asked.

Bella didn't really want to share her failed love life with Carlisle so she merely smiled.

"Modern times I guess" Carlisle said amused probably thinking Bella had several boyfriends or something like that. "No marriage? No children?" he asked.

_So they really did not know,_ Bella thought.

"Life didn't turn out the way I planned it in _that _particular area" Bella answered smiling shrewdly. She figured she wasn't lying if she was just being cryptic about the truth.

"What brings you back to Forks?" Bella asked.

Carlisle smiled somewhat stiffly and she knew that he wasn't planning on answering.

"I'll tell you at another time, as for now I have to be on my way" he said standing up.

Bella followed him to the hallway. In just a few seconds Carlisle was ready to go outside again.

"It was nice to see you again Bella. You will always be family to us" he said smiling.

Bella smiled back and closed the door after him.

_Family_? she thought frowning. Then she shook her head at the thought. While she appreciated the sentiment she had her own family. She went back to the livingroom and quickly put the previously hidden photos back in their rightful places. She saved her favorite for last and carefully hung it on the wall. A photo of Anthony, Bella and Charlie posing together in the garden on Anthony's third birthday. In the photo Anthony was in Charlie's arms smiling widely at the camera while Charlie and Bella were laughing about something that seemed to be extremely amusing. Bella couldn't recall what it was, but she loved the picture. She allowed herself to dream that they were all still here together. That Charlie was still here with them.

And in that moment looking at the photograph, her life felt completely full.


	10. A confusing night

"How's Jacob?" Dr. Ross asked.

Bella frowned at the odd question. Shouldn't Dr. Ross ask Bella how _she _was doing, and not about how Jacob was doing? Nevertheless she answered it.

"I guess he's fine. Last time I saw him he was cuddling my dog. I'd rather talk about my dog actually."

Dr. Ross raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"What do you mean you would rather talk about your dog?"

Bella sighed happily.

"Because he's so cute."

Dr. Ross looked unimpressed.

"You know how I always talk about my bad luck? How bad things always seem to happen to me?" Bella asked switching the subject. "I'm thinking that maybe I need to think differently. For example I was in an accident but I got a puppy because of it. Then I was attacked quite recently, I mean _beaten up_, but I got to see some old acquaintances again. That's positive in some sense, right?"

Dr. Ross's eyes widened.

"Jesus, Bella! You were _beaten up_?" she asked clearly alarmed.

Bella did a "whatever" move with her hand thinking it was probably best not to explain. She kept on talking about her new way of thinking, but noticed that her therapist had lost interest. She was staring out into thin air, nodding and going "_uhu_" in all the right places, but looked like she was about to fall asleep. Bella didn't like that and decided to go back to what dr. Ross wanted to know, for some reason.

"Actually I talked to Jacob yesterday. He called."

Dr. Ross immediately looked up.

"What did you two talk about?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. Of course she remembered their conversation. It just hadn't been that interesting.

"We tried to get together. He's been so busy lately. We were going to have dinner tonight, but he cancelled."

Dr. Ross looked interested.

"Busy, you say? Huh?"

"Super busy" Bella sighed.

However when Bella left therapy she got an unexpected call. It was Jacob asking if she was still free for dinner tonight. Apparently his work-thing had gotten cancelled after all. Bella happy obliged and went home to take little Ed for a walk. A walk meant Bella carrying him around and then putting him down on some lawn. His leg was still not good, but the cast was coming off very soon. She took her time; took a long bath and did her make-up carefully. She ignored her jeans and instead put on an emerald colored flowy dress that was one of her favorites. Dinner with Jacob was one of few occasions she actually got out of the house aside from going to work so she usually put some effort into her looks.

"You look pretty" Anthony told her as she walked down the stairs.

Bella smiled widely.

"Thank you!" Then she looked at the little puppy who looked back at her with sad eyes.

Bella felt a pang of guilt for leaving him at home, but hoped that just maybe he would learn to accept Anthony's company that way. Bella rode her bicycle to the restaurant. Jacob was already there. He was sitting by their usual table with a bottle of wine ready. He smiled widely as Bella approached him.

"Hey there" Bella said.

Jacob rose from his chair and they embraced quickly before sitting down.

"Ah it feels so good to be out of the house" Jacob sighed happily and poured Bella a glass of wine.

Bella frowned.

"But you've been at the office working non-stop" she said.

He nodded.

"That's true, but whenever I come home it's just as miserable. Lea's four month's along now. That time is the worst for her! If I end up as a missing person you know who did it."

_Right, monster's pregnant again _Bella remembered. She quickly ordered some food.

"So how's James?" Jacob asked.

Bella nearly choked on her wine.

"That went down the drain weeks ago. Where have you been? I saw you just days ago and we even talked about it..." Bella said.

"Hey! I've been working hard, but I remember now. Okay let's drop it. He was a douche! With a fine bike, but still a douche. Not good enough for you" he said looking very dramatically disapproving. "How's Anthony? Still seeing that girl?"

Bella smiled.

"He's perfect... Yeah they..." Bella stopped midsentence as she suddenly recognized a woman sitting a few tables away. She was wearing a weird hat and dark sunglasses but Bella would still recognize her anywhere.

"Is that Dr. Ross?" she said out loud not believing what she was seeing.

From what she knew Dr. Ross didn't live in the neighborhood but had a good piece of driving ahead of her every morning when she would go to work. So what was she doing in a small local restaurant in tiny Forks; and with sunglasses and a ridiculous hat on?

Jacob turned around to see what Bella was looking at and froze in his movement.

"It is" he said almost gasping.

Bella's focus quickly turned from Dr. Ross to Jacob. He didn't look at her at once, but soon their eyes met slowly and dramatically.

"How do you know Dr. Ross?" Bella asked squinting her eyes suspisciously at him.

Jacob looked nervous and loosened his tie. Bella recalled Dr. Ross odd reaction to Jacob's surname and how she'd suddenly asked about him earlier that day in therapy. Bella was still staring at him waiting for an answer.

"Through work, _obviously_!" Jacob answered flustered.

Bella didn't blink but simply watched him squirm.

"You work in construction. She's a therapist" Bella said.

Jacob pretended to look surprised.

"_You're _seeing a therapist?" he exclaimed dramatically.

Bella shook her head and downed her glass of wine quickly.

"You're unbelievable. As much as I dislike Lea I'm completely gutted that you would do this to her. It's quite obvious that you're having an affair with that woman in that ridiculous hat!"

Right about then their food arrived. It was the worst timing. Jacob tried to change the subject at once.

"_Woah_ Bella, maybe we should send back the stake you ordered. It's practically raw."

Bella ignored him.

"I'm leaving" she announced.

Jacob put his hand on Bella's arm as she was about to grab her purse.

"Please Bella don't tell her!" he pleaded a little too loudly.

Bella noticed that people were starting to stare at them. She closed her eyes briefly in an effort to calm down. She could easily drive to Jacob and Lea's house and tell her straight away but she realized it wasn't up to her and it shouldn't be any of her business, not really.

"_I _won't, but _you _should if you have any pride left" she finally said.

She then walked a few steps but changed her mind and turned to Jacob again.

"Remember after we broke up? She asked.

Jacob's face immediately turned slightly red with embarrassment.

"That was years ago. It meant nothing and I told you that."

Bella shook her head feeling disappointed.

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

"Or maybe that's exactly what I'm doing?" Jacob suggested nervously.

Bella's jaw dropped. She turned to leave once more but realized she wasn't done when she once again saw Dr. Ross who was very interested in her menu all of a sudden. Bella walked past to trick Dr Ross into thinking she wasn't going to acknowledge her at all. Then she took a few quick steps back and took a hold of Dr Ross's hat and threw it away dramatically. Dr. Ross's sunglasses fell from her face as well and her brown eyes nervously met Bella's.

"I'm _not _coming to therapy on monday" Bella said.

When Bella left the restaurant she was so upset she was shaking all over. She began walking home leading her bike, close to crying out of anger and disappointment. Her Jacob! Her Jacob had done this to awful yet poor Lea who actually didn't deserve this. And out of all women he'd picked her therapist, just like all those years ago when Jacob seduced two out of Bella's friends in two days after their break-up as some kind of revenge. She had that feeling again, that Jacob had seduced Dr. Ross knowing that she was connected to Bella somehow. That he wanted to take something that was hers again, but she quickly managed to talk some sense into herself. The surprise on Jacob's face when he found out Dr. Ross was her therapist was genuine. It didn't make the situation less crappy. Bella willed herself not to cry. She was cold too but didn't want to hop on her bike just yet knowing how clumsy she was even when she wasn't upset at all. While leading her bike in the quiet night Bella felt like there was something odd in the air. In her upset state she could still feel someone else's presence. _Who was here_? It was pitch dark and not a person was out at this hour. It was ten o' clock and not many people lived nearby. Still Bella didn't feel scared. She was used to feeling or being watched. Maybe it was Carlisle? He had been worried after all.

Bella stopped in her tracks and looked around.

She stood still for some minutes just taking deep breaths while letting the information that Jacob was having an affair settle. She was hungry too. Now just thinking of the stake she never got to eat she felt a raving appetite she hadn't experienced in a long time. She should've stayed and eaten it anyway; perhaps sitting at another table while letting Dr. Ross and Jacob have a date. _Am I jealous_? Bella asked herself. She thought about it. No. She was sure she had no feelings of that sort left for Jacob. She hadn't felt those in a very long time. Her relationship with him nowadays was that of a brother and sister. She couldn't help but wondering though. Was this the first time? A one-time thing? Or had he been unfaithful before? To Lea or…to _her_? She took another deep breath and began walking again. She didn't know why but she looked straight into the forest to her left, as if she knew there was something there. She felt shock surging through her. There was a pale face looking back at her. Although she knew Anthony looked very much alike, she was one hundred percent sure.

It was Edward.

She closed her eyes not quite trusting what she was seeing. When she opened her eyes again she only saw the dark woods.

He was gone.

* * *

**Hey guys! I got a review that got me thinking. A reader was grossed out by the possibilty that Edward, a boy who looks seventeen, would ever get together with a woman 36. She found the thought really sick.**

**I respect that opinion, but I'm curious to know whether you agree? Obviously I don't, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this story :D Maybe that age difference would gross me out if it was some other couple but we're talking about Bella and Edward here! To me it's different. Their love story is epic and Edward was prepared to let Bella live her human life while always being by her side watching her grow old and wrinkly. And still love her all the same.**

**That's where I'm coming from. I still haven't decided where Bella and Edward will end up in this story. They haven't met again yet, but I welcome all opinions and thoughts on this :)**

**Ladyice5: Why Bella healed so fast is getting brought up sometime soon, it's a bit strange! And Anthony looking so much like Edward I think maybe it's made Bella not feel as much resentment towards Edward because she sees, litterally, so much of him in her son who is her biggest joy in life. It can't be healthy to stay angry with someone if you're going to be reminded of that person everyday. But as you said, it must be hard as well to constantly be reminded of the person who broke your heart. It must be kind of bittersweet.**


	11. Doing the right thing

"I saw him" Bella said tiredly.

She was in the kitchen fixing some breakfast still in her pyjamas even though it was one o'clock in the afternoon. She'd had barely been able to sleep because she had too much on her mind.

"Where?" Anthony asked curiously.

"He was in the woods last night."

Bella could tell Anthony didn't quite believe her as he carefully approached the subject.

"Yeah, so... Are you sure it was him? I haven't picked up on anything and we both know that you have a wild sense of imagination" he pointed out.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"If it was him, which I doubt, not saying you're hallucinating or anything.."

"But you are" Bella flicked in.

Anthony ignored her.

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

She smiled at him and had a sip of orange juice.

"You sound like my therapist" but her smile faded quickly.

_Who by the way is sleeping with Jacob _she added soundlessly.

"What was that?" Anthony asked his face full of shock.

"I didn't say anything. Did you read my mind?" Bella asked equally as shocked.

He looked uncomfortable.

"I didn't even try, you kind of just let me!" he accused still looking shocked.

She had to judge in Anthony's favor. Afterall she was very tired and had probably let her guard down without thinking about it. Letting her guard down now didn't feel like the best time.

"I'm so sorry" Bella said. "I guess I'm... exhausted."

Anthony still looked uncomfortable.

"Is it true?" he asked her.

Now it was her turn to look uncomfortable.

"Yes" she answered.

"That's bad" was all he said his eyes wide with this new information.

"Yeah but do you want to know what's great?"

"Not really, but I have a feeling you'll tell me anyway."

Bella smiled.

"I saw her at the restaurant. She was trying to hide behind a hat and sunglasses but Jacob started behaving really odd and I remembered my therapist asking about him in an odd way. He didn't even deny it, so I left. It was a fun night out" she said ironically.

"And what was the great part?" Anthony asked disbelieving.

"That was ironically meant" Bella said.

"Why would your therapist even follow you guys to dinner? It all sounds really weird."

Bella hadn't even thought about that but now that Anthony brought it up, it really sounded weird. She merely shrugged her shoulders. Then came a question she hadn't at all expected.

"Did you get a flashback from when he cheated on you?" Anthony asked.

Bella twitched against her own will.

"He didn't cheat on me. It was after the break-up" she said stubbornly.

She'd lost track of the times she'd questioned whether or not a steady and trustworthy friendship could grow out of a start like that. You'd think out of respect that Jacob could've waited a little longer before moving on, a little longer than a day at least. But time had washed away the doubt and she'd learned how to trust and love Jacob again as a friend. During tough times, for example when Charlie died, he'd really been there for her and it was hard to ignore something like that.

Anthony looked uneasy as he took a deep breath.

"Yeah... Mom, about that. I don't think you see Jacob the way other people do."

Bella frowned.

"He's kind of a womanizer" he explained, but quickly added "or that's how a lot of people see him."

She shook her head trying to get rid off the thought. This was an ideal time to switch subjects.

"Anyways, today is going to be a good day. Little Ed's cast's coming off!" she said exictedly looking down at the puppy who was lying in his kitchen-basket.

He wiggled his tiny tail. Yes, today was going to be a good day.

After she'd gotten ready, Bella put Ed in the bicycle basket and jumped up. When she passed by one of Forks' grocery store. Jacob was there in the parking lot loading his truck. Somehow he got sight of her and waved for her to come to him. Bella immediately made a drastic U-turn and headed another way. Unfortunately for her, this way was a lot longer and she had to speed up in order to make it there in time. She arrived five minutes late and ran inside with Ed in her arms.

"Still a good day" she concluded happily after Ed's cast had been taken off.

His leg was going to function normally in two weeks time. Now he needed small walks to help him to literally get back on his feet. Bella took the same road she'd taken home last night. From time to time she looked into the forest, half expecting to see a pale face, but it never happened. However when she got home she saw Jacob on her porch. She felt angry.

"I thought I made it pretty clear that I was avoiding you" she said coldly. "I need space."

She parked her bicycle on the front and started locking it up.

"Bells please" Jacob said.

_Bells? _He hadn't called her that in years!

"Don't you Bells me!" Bella exclaimed loudly.

"I need you!" he pleaded.

She took Ed in her arms and headed for the door focing Jacob out of the way to no use, he followed her in the house. She put Ed in kis kitchen-basket and poured herself a glass of water.

"_Need me?" _she repeated. "I think your wife needs you and I think you're a douchebag for not realizing that!"

"I know that" Jacob said quietly, having a sit by the kitchen table. "It's just that sometimes I wonder if that is what I want. Do I want a family? With Lea?"

Bella nearly spat out her water.

"Jake!" She called out. "You _have _a family with Lea. Two wonderful kids remember? And a third on the way. Sort this thing out whatever it is and talk this over with the right person, _your wife_!"

Jacob sighed.

"I need to talk to someone objective" he said.

Bella was close to laughter.

"Well you should see a therapist, but unfortunately Forks only has one right now and that is our dear Dr. Ross, but you've already seen her" Bella said icily.

"I thought I could count on you" Jacob said sadly.

Bella shook her head.

"You need to talk to Lea, but I'll give you some advice. Stop seeing Dr. Ross."

He looked like a child being scolded but it didn't stir any sympathies with Bella. She found it only made him look more pathetic. What had she ever seen him? she asked herself. Where was the Jacob who had it all figured out, who was a decent guy?

"I know" he agreed.

For a second Bella lost energy but it was quickly fuelled on thinking about what Anthony had said earlier about Jacob being a womanizer.

"You know you've given me no reason to believe that you were faithful for me during our time together. Consider the trust we had for each other gone."

Without saying another word, Jacob left. Bella felt horrible, but knew she couldn't back him up on this one. This whole thing with friendship, to always be there for each other, it clearly had a line to it and Jacob had definitely crossed that line. She downed the last bit of water and got her purse; now it was work-time. She grabbed Ed and went outside to put him in the basket again. Then she was off. It was windy. The sun was covered by clouds and it looked like another storm was on the way. Bella liked the storms that so often visited Forks, but not when outside; sometimes the wind got so strong she was nearly knocked over on her bike. She arrived at the flower-shop. She didn't know why, but somehow her business was a success. Even on a stormy day like this the shop always had at least one visitor in it. Often they were men who wanted to buy flowers for their wives; and sometimes they were nasty men, Bella thought. They could be talking about their wives and then all of a sudden ask Bella if she wanted to go out for a cup of coffee someday. Ever since Bella had dated James those types of men had increased. Forks was a small place and word got around quickly. If Bella had dated one of her customers, surely there was a possibilty she could date another.

The day floated on without any weird incidents much to Bella's satisfaction. Bella was on her way home when she hit the brakes so hard little Ed almost fell out the basket. She had almost forgotten to visit Charlie's grave. She held back the tears and the guilt as she turned around and headed for Forks cemetery.

Then on her way home she felt annoyed for other reasons.

Why did Jacob have to make such a mess out of everything? Plus, she was still real confused about her hallucination or whatever it was last night. Why were all the Cullens suddenly here? Why now? And what was Alice doing? And why did Bella feel like she should tell Lea all about her husband's indiscretions? Really, that was none of Bella's business and it wasn't up to her to tell Lea anything. She didn't even like Lea!

"Oh darn it" Bella muttered under her breath as she made a drastic u-turn with her bike.

She was on her way to Jacob's house.

"Bella?" Lea said as she opened the door.

Her face immediately scrunched up as if she felt a bad smell by just looking at Bella. Bella vaguely recalled finding Lea pretty the first time she saw her but with the constant look of disapproval on her face, it was easy to forget her first impression. Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Couldn't Lea at least pretend that she was neutral?

"Lea" Bella answered neutrally. "Is Jacob home?"

She suddenly realized this could be a very bold move if Jacob actually was home. He'd known right away what she was up to. Lea looked even more disapproving when she answered.

"What do you want with him? But as a matter of fact, he's not. He's at work."

Bella prayed to God that "work" didn't mean Dr. Ross, but somehow she had a feeling he was seeing her.

"Actually I'd like to talk to you. Can I come in?"

Lea sighed and opened the door wider. Bella shot a glance at little Ed who was peacefully asleep in the basket. Lea would never let her take him inside, since she wasn't too fond of animals but surprisingly offered Bella to take the basket inside and let him sleep in the hallway. Relieved Bella went inside and intended to make it a quick visit since Jacob could be home any second.

"So where's Jake and Lucy?"

"At my mother's. Me and Jacob were supposed to go to dinner today but he had to work late again so it's just me."

Bella nodded. She was acting cordial, that was good.

"Jacob works late a lot" she said just to strike up conversation.

Lea immediately looked suspiscious.

"What are you saying?"

Darn it, she hadn't realized what it could sound like. Bella didn't wait for Lea's invitation to do so and had a sit by the kitchentable. She started playing with her hair, something she did when she felt nervous.

"Is everything alright with you and Jacob?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Lea shot Bella another glare of disapproval.

"Come on Lea, help me out here. Look, I'm not your friend. We don't even like each other and we don't need to pretend, but I respect you. You're a good mother to Jake and Lucy and you've made Jacob a very happy man" she tried hoping some flatter could work on her.

"Something you never succeeded in" Lea said sourily.

_She's pregnant. It's the hormones talking, too_, Bella told herself.

"Apparently not" Bella agreed politely. "Last night when I and Jacob were having dinner and..."

Lea looked harshly at Bella.

"You and Jacob were having dinner? When he got home he told me he had been working late!"

What?! Why would he lie?

"Maybe it was some misunderstanding" Bella tried.

"_Uhu_" Lea said looking very angry.

"Please sit down. I really need to tell you something" Bella tried.

Lea had a sit and looked very suspiscious.

"If you're trying to tell me you and Jacob are thinking of reviving your dead romance I'll have a really hard time believing it. Jacob's not a confused adolescent anymore. He knows what he wants and it's not you. He's got better taste than that."

_She's pregnant, she's pregnant, she's pregnant _Bella repeated soundlessly to herself. _No need to get worked up._

"It's not about me and Jacob. It's about Jacob and someone else." Bella took a deep breath and decided to take a careful approach. "I think maybe he's cheating on you. Think about how often he works late and how little he's at home... He's seeing someone."

The silence was deafening. Then Lea's eyes bore into Bella and looked so viscious she felt the need to back away.

"Get the hell out of my house" Lea said coldly.

Bella nodded. From experience she knew it was no use in pushing Lea's buttons anymore than necessary. If she would try to tell more, it could turn ugly. While Jacob was wrong about many things, he was right about one thing. When Lea was pregnant, she could be real scary. Bella retrieved Ed from the hallway and then took off on her bike.

She hadn't expected Lea to believe her, but at least her conscience didn't feel as heavy.

* * *

**Thank you for letting me know how you feel about the age difference! If you find it inappropriate I give you fair warning to not continue to read this story as I haven't decided yet which direction to take. I'll go with the flow and if the flow leads me to romance, that's where I'm going :) I've gotta say the comment about Edward having a grandmother complex made me laugh out loud. Bella's not that old, maybe I should've made her 92 ;D **

**Oh and about what I meant with Edward and Bella's love story being epic. I don't mean it in the most epic sense of the word epic, but more like it's one of ****_the _****modern day love stories (for me at least) but not Romeo and Juliet kind of epic :)**


	12. Ridiculous

It was saturday and the storm was still going. Ed was sleeping in his basket while Bella was making dinner. She was humming a tune to herself while stirring the sauce she was making and Anthony was setting the table It was a one-minute task considering they were only two.

"Have you talked to Jacob?" Anthony asked making Bella stop her humming.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Nothing really came out of it. I talked to Lea and that was equally rewarding."

Anthony grimaced and Bella sighed.

"Too bad she didn't believe you."

"I know but..." Bella stopped midsentence. "Was that...?"

"A knock on the door" he confirmed.

Anthony shrugged his shoulders which meant that there really wasn't any danger.

"They're already gone" he told Bella, but she went to check anyway despite knowing he was right. Without hesitation she opened the door but there was no trace of anyone.

"Hello?" she called out.

Quickly she let her eyes travel across the garden for traces but she saw none: only big dark trees swaying in the storm. She sighed and closed the door.

"The Volturi has got to stop prank knocking" Anthony said sighing.

Bella raised her eyebrows.

"Do you think it was them? I don't know why they still do that. It was scary the first couple of times now it's just getting annoying" Bella said going back to preparing dinner.

"It was one of them. They probably want to keep us reminded that they haven't forgotten about us."

When they sat down and began their dinner Anthony looked worried.

"What?" Bella asked.

"The Cullens think the Volturi will attack you again."

Bella sighed.

"They're so close you can read their minds?"

He smiled innocently.

"Are you lurking about their house? I don't like that."

"I'm sorry" he said. "Mostly it's gibberish and I ignore that, but this one had me worried. I won't be far from you" he said seriously. "It seems like they'll stop by for a visit though."

"Just Emmett and Rose?"

"The ones who are here. Which means everyone except Jasper, Alice and Edward."

Bella frowned. So Edward was not here afterall. Was Jasper with Alice? Wherever she was?

"Why are they even here?" Bella groaned.

Anthony seemed to think.

"It has something to do with the Volturi, that's all I've been getting" he said sighing.

"Enough about depressing matters" Bella decided. "Let's play normal. There's been so much going on lately I've had no time to snoop around in your life. How's school?"

Anthony finished his bite before answering.

"I and Jenny are official" he said.

Bella's heart thumped quicker in her chest. Her son, in love! She was a mother of a son who had a girlfriend. Oh love. She was happy and proud and all of those feelings a mother would have. She imagined her son getting married and giving her grandchildren…

"Well it's only been two days."

Maybe marriage would have to happen a little bit further ahead than she'd imagined.

"Do you still need help tomorrow?" he asked out of the blue.

Bella felt confused.

"With what?"

"You needed a new book shelf because the one in the living room is falling apart?" he reminded her.

Then it cleared.

"Oh right, it's easy to forget we have those ordinary things to take care of, too."

Bella sighed inwardly. She really did not feel like going to the furniture store tomorrow. On Sundays the store was always packed with irritated parents and overly energetic children. Bella preferred her Sundays quiet and calm. Maybe she was getting old for real.

"No, I'll take care of that some other day. I'm just going grocery shopping tomorrow" she decided.

"Cool then I'll probably go to Jenny's."

Bella smiled.

"Sounds great."

Walking down the aisle of Forks grocery shop was sleepy to say the least. The storm had been so intense last night Bella had hardly gotten any sleep and even if she'd had she'd probably been woken up by Ed's whining. The little dog was scared of the thunder even though he calmed down a little when Bella let him snuggle in her hair. She was also up extra early this morning. She'd realized that Ed couldn't be alone at the house yet so she'd left early so Antony could watch him until Bella came home. She sleepily put milk cartons into her shopping wagon and played with the thought of leaving work early tomorrow or simply don't show up at all and just sleep away the entire Monday. She grabbed some tomatoes and made a slow U-turn to the shampoo department. It was when Bella was searching for her shampoo brand among the shelves that she heard a voice she recognized very well. She did not dare turn around, so she didn't. Instead she made a silent prayer that the person would not spot her. And if he did spot her he would not want to talk to her. Just as she grabbed a shampoo bottle she dropped it.

"Bella!" the person called out.

She quickly turned around and had a feeling she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Jacob!" she called out equally as enthusiastic but of course she was being ironic.

He seemed to be deciding on whether or not to smile, and quickly seemed to decide not to.

"You're still not talking to me are you?" he said disappointedly.

Bella's smile wavered.

"What do you call this? But no, I don't _want _to talk to you, that's correct."

Bella was about to say something else but stopped herself. The woman with the ridiculous hat was a few meters away.

"Is that Dr. Ross?" She nearly whispered.

Jacob looked at her too and then at Bella. He nodded carefully. Bella looked at Dr. Ross again.

"Is she following you? She's still wearing that ridiculous hat as a disguise!"

Jacob looked as if he didn't know whether to smile or not again.

"Bella, that is her hat. Her favorite hat, actually."

If she hadn't been so angry with Jacob Bella would've laughed out loud. Dr Ross, a woman who'd she'd imagined had some class, wore a stupid hat like that! It was yellow and black and checked. She could not believe it. For a moment Bella was sad she'd decided not to go to therapy anymore. She would need therapy after seeing that hat. It really was an awful hat and by the way; who even wore hats anymore?!

"What are you doing here with her? Does Lea know?" Bella asked feeling quite uncomfortable that maybe she was again witnessing something she didn't want to witness.

To her fear, Jacob nodded.

"Well kind of, I mean. I'm staying at a friend's house for some time."

"And Lea's fine with that? With you staying with Dr. Ross?"

Jacob looked unsure.

"Well we decided I was going away for a few days, but she doesn't need to know I'm staying with Dr, I mean with Ross. It doesn't really make a difference."

"_It doesn't really make a difference?_" Bella echoed. "You are _married_. Do you even know what it means to be married to someone?"

Jacob shot her a dirty glare.

"No, do you?"

Somehow she had a feeling Jacob was giving her crap for rejecting his proposal all those years ago.

"No, and I didn't get married because I knew that I wasn't ready to take that step. You are married, you've taken that step and here you are with _her._"

It dawned on Bella that Jacob was really doing this: he was having an affair. Lea didn't know anything about Dr Ross. That's probably the reason for Jacob's early Sunday morning shopping. There was no way Lea would be here. Still Bella didn't understand it. Forks was not a very large place. Forks was a place where people talked about other people, a place where gossip travelled quite quickly. What could Jacob be thinking? Was the thinking _at all_?

"Really Jacob?" she said. "You're really going grocery shopping with her?" her voice was shaky and to her own surprise she was on the verge of tears. She just felt so helpless. She'd tried talking to Lea but that lead nowhere and Jacob was acting all kinds of crazy. Bella already had her own troubles to deal with. To name one, the Cullens were back in town! She had enough on her mind and she felt the right to be selfish.

Jacob got closer.

"Is that so bad?" he asked his voice more quiet.

Bella shook her head in disappointment.

"Yes Jacob, that's so bad." "I can't believe you're still seeing her. You are a..."

But Bella stopped mortified when seeing the hideous hat getting closer.

"Jacob what's taking so long?"

Dr. Ross and Bella's eyes met. They looked at each other for a long time before one of them spoke.

"Dr. Ross" Bella said smiling meakly.

"Bella, I heard you're not coming to therapy anymore" Dr. Ross said.

Bella tried to stay calm.

"Yeah well actually I told you to your face and it would be kind of awkward considering you're with Jacob now and Jacob is... Well, with you! Also you know, our restaurant run in was strange considering you were hiding a few tables away."

Dr. Ross smile did not fade but Bella could see in her eyes that she was deeply uncomfortable. Dr. Ross punched Jacob in the ribs and he cleared his throat.

"You should come over for dinner some time" he suggested.

Bella blinked but smiled wider.

"Are Lea and Dr. Ross cooking together?" she asked.

Jacob cleared his throat again.

"I'm living with Dr.." he began but awkwardly corrected himself. "With Ross now."

Jacob broke their eye contact and looked down on the floor.

"You dropped this" he said and picked up her shampoo bottle.

Bella accepted it still feeling shocked.

"Well we're off" Jacob said.

"Nice to meet you Bella" Dr. Ross said waving awkwardly.

Bella watched them walk away but couldn't resist.

"Lovely hat!" she called after her.

When she left the grocery store she felt more tired than ever. What were the odds? She was at the grocery store at nine o' clock in the morning. Jacob was not a morning person yet there he was and with his new girlfriend which Lea did not even know about. Bella decided she could not trust a word Jacob said. He'd told her he and Lea were separated somehow, but for all Bella knew he could've simply told Lea he was going fishing for a week with some buds from work. However Bella knew better than to stick her noise in this, yet she felt a strong urge to go and see Lea which was very odd. Bella had never wanted to see Lea. It had been the exact opposite: she had never wanted to see Lea and had had quite a few dreams where Lea had gone missing or been kidnapped and neither Jacob nor Bella had enough money to pay her ransom. Bella allowed herself to enjoy the dream once more. That was one of her favorite dreams. When she got home she still had a smile of content on her lips.

"You look happy" Anthony said.

Bella nodded absently.

"thinking about the dream I had about Lea. Did I tell you about that one? The one where..."

"Where she gets kidnapped and no one can pay the ransom? Yeah quite a few times."

Bella smiled again and sighed happily. Anthony frowned.

"What happened over there?"

Then Bella remembred what had really gone down. She groaned and took off her shoes. Anthony grabbed a few bags and headed for the kitchen. Bella followed.

"I met Jacob and Dr. Ross there."

Anthony grimaced.

"They're seeing each other for real?"

bella nodded and leaned on the kitchen counter.

"They're totally in session."

Anthony shook his head.

"That's lame mom."

Bella shruggedh er shoulders.

"Well it's ridiculous, isn't it? Talking about ridiculous. That hat she wears? Ugh!"

"Let me guess, ridiculous?"

Bella nodded.

"It's so ridiculous. I feel ridiculous talking about it.

"Point taken" Anthony said. "It's ridiculous" he said just in case.

"It's so ridiculous" Bella said feeling annoyed about it again.

She was quiet for some time until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous!" she called out.

Anthony looked at her.

"Got it out of your system?" he asked sympathetically.

Bella took a deep breath.

"I think so. Thanks for listening. I know I'm being..."

Anthony interrupted her.

"If you say that word one more time I'm not going to help you with the groceries."

Bella smiled at him and felt quite thankful. She was too tired to pack up all of the groceries herself so she found herself agreeing against her own will. But so far this day had really been… ridiculous.


End file.
